Once Upon a Seizure
Foghorn The Ikonoclast
Down with ChickenHawks
My Walmart Adventure
11 June, 2015
My Walmart Grand Mal Seizure
Being an independent person and having my day out to do shopping for my cat, I went to Wally (Walmart) and I never got to check out.
It was an otherwise sunny morning except for the Chicken Hawk snoring and the consequent lack of viable quality sleep. Being overly anxious 110% of the time my tolerance for silly people was reaching a nadir, the stress of GAD knocked me down and out.
Unlike most books and narratives on the topic of recalcitrant brain waves, this is both comic and serious. It plumbs the depths of medical malady and the lack of a coherent understanding of protocol.
Gaps in the Story.
Due to being advised of some of the particulars, some of the story remains incomplete but the upshot is the fact that now I have a record of seizure activity. So bear with me as I elucidate, I say e-lu-ci-date there son!
The time was about 7:30A.M. on Thursday, June 11th. I had what was told to me by hospital staff that I had a grand mal seizure that lasted over 30 minutes and that my condition was serious enough that I had to go to the nearest ER that was only about a mile or two away. Of course, said Chicken Hawk or Hawks as the case may be presented a conflicting story.
All I do remember are two to three snippets of consciousness after I had fallen or during it, whatever that means. I was shopping for my cats and although I am a portly bird, I do have a liking for the critters. Anyhow, I had pretty much wrapped up my shopping and was getting irritated with some of the shoppers when suddenly, I felt like I was in Emerald City and the whole seemed to shimmer and was like looking through stretch wrap. Not quite opaque. I felt my legs buckle once, then twice and then I started to fall and as I did cried out if anyone had noticed.
I remember talking to people and evidently postictally I became in their words ‘Combative’ and I was put in restraints. I even have a picture of me lying on the stretcher with my wrists restrained behind me facing down.
At the ER I woke up to see my mother and brother standing there and then one of my sisters who by the way is a nurse. At least that is how the story goes. After she left I was changed into a hospital gown of sorts because sometimes incontinence happens when you do your happy dance. Among other things.
I was given Ativan I believe to reduce aggression and my brother told cops and staff at the hospital that I am the least combative person that he knows. My mom surmised that I may have stopped taking my meds but that is something I do pretty well, aside from putting the hustle on the hens. You have to keep sharp with them.
On a follow up at the VA hospital I had referrals for an MRI and EEG. The MRI was pretty close to the last one with some issues correlating to my age but the EEG indicated potential of Epilepsy. So now, for at least six months I cannot drive and that will put a crimp on my dating exploits with the little honies in the coop.
Actually there is a honey that has helped me recently and will be coming back soon but more details on that later. She took great care of me and I have taken a very big liking to her tail feathers, if you get my drift there son!
For every downside there appears an upside and sometimes you must look for it and Chicken Hawks will be what they are and your best lady egg layer can provide a softer fall. My advice is don’t overlook the golden eggs, for they are numerous and well-timed and that one will make you forget the rest.
GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip, He who will remain nameless (Chicken Hawk), the cashier that called my mom and my mom for locking me in the attic. Oh and do not tell the Chicken Hawk I referred to him, cause he is a bit slow.
The story was true with a few awkward embellishments, if you know what I mean?