Ole Foggie Hit Bottom, Bottom I tell ya!

Once Upon a Seizure

Blog for Mental Health 2015King

Foghorn The Ikonoclast

Down with ChickenHawks

My Walmart Adventure

11 June,  2015

My Walmart Grand Mal Seizure

Being an independent person and having my day out to do shopping for my cat,  I went to Wally (Walmart) and I never got to check out.

Overview

It was an otherwise sunny morning except for the Chicken Hawk snoring and the consequent lack of viable quality sleep.    Being overly anxious 110% of the time my tolerance for silly people was reaching a nadir,  the stress of GAD knocked me down and out.

Comparative Review

Unlike most books and narratives on the topic of recalcitrant brain waves,  this is both comic and serious.    It plumbs the depths of medical malady and the lack of a coherent understanding of protocol.

Gaps in the Story.

Due to being advised of some of the particulars,  some of the story remains incomplete but the upshot is the fact that now I have a record of seizure activity.    So bear with me as I elucidate,  I say e-lu-ci-date there son!

Contrasting Opinions

The time was about 7:30A.M.  on Thursday,  June 11th.    I had what was told to me by hospital staff that I had a grand mal seizure that lasted over 30 minutes and that my condition was serious enough that I had to go to the nearest ER that was only about a mile or two away.  Of course,  said Chicken Hawk or Hawks as the case may be presented a conflicting story.

All I do remember are two to three snippets of consciousness after I had fallen or during it,  whatever that means.    I was shopping for my cats and although  I am a portly bird,  I do have a liking for the critters.    Anyhow,  I had pretty much wrapped up my shopping and was getting irritated with some of the shoppers when suddenly,   I felt like I was in Emerald City and the whole seemed to shimmer and was like looking through stretch wrap.   Not quite opaque.   I felt my legs buckle once,  then twice and then I started to fall and as I did cried out if anyone had noticed.

I remember talking to people and evidently postictally I became in their words ‘Combative’ and I was put in restraints.   I even have a picture of me lying on the stretcher with my wrists restrained behind me facing down.

Image result for seizuresImage result for seizures

At the ER I woke up to see my mother and brother standing there and then one of my sisters who by the way is a nurse.   At least that is how the story goes.    After she left I was changed into a hospital gown of sorts because sometimes incontinence happens when you do your happy dance.  Among other things.

I was given Ativan I believe to reduce aggression and my brother told cops and staff at the hospital that I am the least combative person that he knows.    My mom surmised that I may have stopped taking my meds but that is something I do pretty well,  aside from putting the hustle on the hens.   You have to keep sharp with them.

On a follow up at the VA hospital I had referrals for an MRI and EEG.  The MRI was pretty close to the last one with some issues correlating to my age but the EEG indicated potential of Epilepsy.   So now,  for at least six months I cannot drive and that will put a crimp on my dating exploits with the little honies in the coop.

Actually there is a honey that has helped me recently and will be coming back soon but more details on that later.    She took great care of me and I have taken a very big liking to her tail feathers,  if you get my drift there son!

Conclusions

For every downside there appears an upside and sometimes you must look for it and Chicken Hawks will be what they are and your best lady egg layer can provide a softer fall.   My advice is don’t overlook the golden eggs,  for they are numerous and well-timed and that one will make you forget the rest.

References

GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip,  He who will remain nameless (Chicken  Hawk),  the cashier that called my mom and my mom for locking me in the attic.   Oh and do not tell the Chicken Hawk I referred to him,  cause he is a bit slow.

The story was true with a few awkward embellishments,  if you know what I mean?

Foghorned Casanova!!!

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My Life as a Sitcom

Yesterday I went to Walmart and was looking for a place to park when I realized that the parking lot is where rednecks go to discuss NASCAR.   And I could totally see why they needed to block both lanes of traffic,  totally oblivious to oncoming traffic or pedestrians.

I could imagine their employee handbook as clearly stating that customers should be patient because employee discussions are an  integral part of the Walmart Experience.    A happy employee is what makes shopping at Walmart, a real joy!

As they finally decided to actually do their job,  I made a comment to an elderly black lady that it is good to know that customer service is priority one.  She just laughed and I noticed she was trying to lift a heavy product into her car.   I asked if I could help and did.   The good thing however is that regardless of the behavior of the Wally Worlders I can find a way to make someone laugh and to help a person.    Handbook?

On another occasion I was walking down the aisle when two very large masses very converging upon one another.    As these two rotund objects neared each other,  I heard the Walmart Alert System sirens going off.   Thankfully those two fitness nuts were going to check on one of last year’s layaways.  

And what happens to all those little blue baskets?  You know those things we put our merchandise in?    It seems like each store is allocated just two and when you ask where they are,  our Wally World Customer Service experts takes a casual look under her register and says the customers probably have them.    Either that or employees are using them.  Hahaha.  You know the two Meteorites are too busy and that chick with 10 inch fingernails and the weave could care less.

Recently I was trying to find a certain product and not only did Customer Service did not help me but I felt guilty for asking.   I apologized and asked their forgiveness.  I am a quick thinker because I realized they were giving out steak knives that day and well,  another customer said it was not a good idea in that neighborhood.

I think I am going to write a Blue’s Album.