The Rape Hologram

I watched a movie last night about 17-year-old Eun An. (Nam Bo-Ra).   I highly suggest that anyone who can view this 2012 film, (Don’t cry Mommy), please do! It a very heart-breaking story.    This movie is about more than one victim, it’s about a mom and  daughter’s happy life together,  being shattered irreconcilably.   Making matters,  worse,  is the sexism.    It is a narrative about responsibility and how jurisprudence and its own misogyny,   perpetuates the myths and the realities.     In the end, this it is not a blog meant to bash men,  but rather where to start,  in addressing education.

Don't_Cry,_Mommy-001

“Revolution is the negation of the existing, a violent protest against man’s inhumanity to man(mankind) with all the thousand and one slaveries it involves. It is the destroyer of dominant values upon which a complex system of injustice, oppression, and wrong has been built up by ignorance and brutality.”  Emma Goldman.

Yes,  but what are we going to do about it?  Laws are a means to an end.   Votes! What does this do, for victims?  The net  effect resolves nothing and they do not placate the victims which include, the family of those victims!

In this movie,  a mother seeks revenge.  Because the perps are allowed to go free and the main perp,  gets a couple months of probation.   Eun-Ah in the mean time is let down by the system,  let down by a culture of near silence by and the continuous ‘rape culture’.

To make matters worse, the girl was raped by these assholes, a second time.  With her own self-worth utterly destroyed,  she becomes even more disillusioned.    Now let’s put this into perspective,  a girl is raped, twice!   Her mother is outraged and the legal system suggests, to settle!  The mother throws down the money offered to her.  At that point,  the perp’s family accuses her daughter and her mother as being loose.

After a recent blog on RallyPoint,  one guy used the Duke LaCrosse team as an example of how men suffer too?  WTF?  Let’s break that down also.  I am sure the legal system let them down.   No!  We are not going to go there.  Compared to the millions of girls and women are who are sexually brutalised, an anecdotal inference to that,  is so sexist,  that is no wonder that this issue, propagates into a miasma of legalise.

“I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.”  ‘Jane Austen’.

As a solution,  neither more laws with no justice or settling out of court will cause the rapist to abstain or ,the mother’s sadness to be any less sad.

The solutions are many,  but it will take more than rhetoric and blaming the victim or more laws.  It will require consideration of how the woman feels and judges adjudicate cases against perps.  It will require education and one that is not an attack on all ,males but , listening to mothers, girlfriends and wives.

As an aside,  a friend in Germany of mine was raped.   She asked to hear story about keeping the baby.   I told her that my NOT place to tell her what to do.   Her response humbled me  because she told me that I was that I am the first to not suggest,  but listen.  She was crying!

The name of the game  is being supporting.  It is not about me,  but to advocate meaningful change, which includes,  like the movie, remedies and compassion for victims everywhere.

This show made me cry,  and not feel bad about crying!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexism. Same as it ever was. Same as it will ever be. Unless!

I saw a blog that needs some kudos and some elaboration.    While we have lots of new stories and a lot of laws we get little else.   And for those who make it a feminist issue only you need to check into the Betty Ford Clinic because you are part of the problem.    The blog below is good because it hits upon the very nexus that is needed to effect real change.

http://feministssa.com/2015/02/23/why-the-casual-sexism-at-uct-matters/#comment-11887

“Any man that alludes to women as whore. sluts or any of those terms piss me off. It is sexism at it’s worse and women who use those words are committing the same act of sexism.

Why does it matter? Is liking asking she asked for ‘it’. We had this debate about 20 years ago when a Miami prostitute was wearing see-through clothes. The rapists said she was asking for ‘it’.

I called the radio station and claimed that women were and are subject to an “inherent sexual bias”. In effect saying that guys can be whores but that girls really are. Words do matter and young children may begin to repeat the lies.

Is it any wonder then that we excuse this? Is it any wonder that a rape happens then the rapist is allowed to barter legally and the best a woman can get is a civil suit?

So, at the end of the day what has changed? Laws look pretty like the “whores” they allege to protect. I use that term for effect since it is the continued and prevailing attitude among males and our system of jurisprudence.

Look at rape or any other form of abuse and we get laws. Nothing but a cash crop with a bunch of broken women and the harassment associated with just going with the flow.

This is a good blog because it underscores in sexual terms a kind of free-floating bias against victims.”

The comment above is one I made in response and the one below the one case that I was alluding to from Florida.   How does this happen and how will it change the future?  In another case an immigrant was assaulted and justice was served but the underlying issue was “she deserved it”.

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2010/12/vanishing-blonde-201012

Don’t get me wrong.  Offenders should be made to pay but a greater emphasis should be made to alter perceptions and how our responses color our perceptions since we were little kids.   ‘Experts’ disagree as to what age we stop forming our personality from about three to seven years of age.    Given that,  what can we do?

We cannot control everyone twenty-four hours a day but it is painfully obvious we are not making a lot of tangible progress.  How do we preserve the natural instinct of men and women and still have respectfulness?   Sexuality is not just a cognitive process.    We have our perceptions and our instincts.

“According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role; and the ego is the organized, realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego.”

Id, ego and super-ego – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego

This is the template and our lives,  our conditions are predicated on interactions.    One thing I have a problem is are those commercials where actors and athletes basically say,  enough is enough.

“No More fawning, pandering, spineless, celebrities trying to show the world how wonderfully “enlightened” and “progressive” they are and trampling all over the remains of their own dignity in the process.

No More infantilizing women and demonizing men.
No More feminist propaganda.”

Still what do these PSAs do?   And who are these people?   What have they done?   Most importantly,  what is the message and how can it be fixed?    Do laws fix our problems or enrich the legal system, estrange people and make people paranoid of each other?     As long as we pontificate,  hand-wring and make hyperbolic gestures,  focus is diverted from the problem and that is respect for each other.
From Wikipedia

Barefoot and pregnant” is a figure of speech most commonly associated with the controversial idea that women should not work outside the home and should have many children during their reproductive years. It has several other meanings as well.

The phrase “barefoot and pregnant” seems to have been introduced in the early twentieth century by Arthur E. Hertzler, the Horse-and-Buggy Doctor’ from Kansas: “’The only way to keep a woman happy,’ he said, ‘is to keep her barefoot and pregnant.’”[1] By mid-century, the phrase had passed into common parlance, so that an article from 1949 states, “By early 1949, TWA was—in the words of its new president, Ralph S. Damon—both ‘barefoot and pregnant.'”[2]

The variation “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” has been associated with the phrase “Kinder, Küche, Kirche” (translated “children, kitchen, church”), used under the German Empire to describe a woman’s role in society. A comparable phrase, “Good Wife, Wise Mother“, emerged in the 1870s in Meiji Japan, and was used as a means of restricting female access to the public realm there,[3] before spreading more widely in East Asian culture.[4]

Women and menBFP

TONYTONY2

All men are a stereotype to some feminists with absolutely no redeeming value and nothing to contribute.   The men who have doting wives who are depicted as permanently emotionally disabled.        From the Burning Bed to Archie Bunker and his Edith,  they are secondary and mere props and sexual objects in the case of Farrah Fawcett.

edith-archie-bunker-pianoWELFARE

There is a lot of fail here and yet,  there are those women who become accustomed and go with the flow as much as Carmela and Tony Soprano.   We have Charlie Sheen and his tiger blood,  being elevated to a status of drug abuser and self-admitted ‘whore mongerer.”    No more what Charlie?    House Arrest?

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Girls were girls and men were men?   Today we have teens and politicians sexting and we have more Laws.  What have those laws done?      More sex offenders?   All the while the number of incidents increase.   America and the world portray sexuality being on the verge of illicit boundaries codified with Judges with teenaged girls and boys.

MMGirlsThe older

Then we have Miss Phoebe Cates and boobage while Judge Rheinhold finds himself pining for the perfect girl.   The confluence of reality and embarrassment.    The gray areas become diffuse and yet scenes of date rape and exploitation meld into the minds of young adolescent boys and girls.

And the race to deflower young women is all over the place.   From Hermoine, and the Olson Twins to Hannah Montana and Taissa Farmiga the race to show their nude bodies or in sex scenes and scandals.     It is like Barely Legal Magazine for young actresses.   Taissa was depicted as a minor and in one episode she was having sex with a patient while he was dying.   Kind of brutal with an explanation point.

You see,  hormone-driven adolescents and middle-aged lurkers think about their conquests against those considered as easy.    Two different messages being sent with exploitation of sexuality and the craven desires of Hollywood and musicians.

The answer is to respectfully introduce each gender with realistic views of what makes us human and down playing depravity or simply to examine ourselves.   This is not meant to be male-bashing but to examine where we are and where we are going with respect to each other.

Maybe counseling new parents and expecting parents on how to act around children and even pregnant women so as not to traumatize children and infants.

Let’s start treating each other better.   Let’s feed one another and a safe warm place to be.   That adult was a baby at one time and I think the adult should not be just a statistic for Social Security purposes.   Radical feminists need a change of heart and men who harass and debase women need to learn early our biological differences and respect for those differences.

Not to demonize women or men but to teach the Golden Rule.    That starts early and is a lifelong process.   We can not afford to be merciful,  to the sick, depraved or poor.   We need to do our part in making this country safe and be strong enough to lead to a better tomorrow.    No more hatred directed to anyone whether they be straight, gay,  military or civilian,  adult and child.    Can we evolve?

Make LoveNomoreWwe

358nuqh

http://www.unitedwayla.org/2012/05/rachel-fleischer-talks-about-her-movie-without-a-home-and-addressing-homelessness-in-los-angeles/

Rachel

Let’s stop scandalizing sex and avoiding real help to real people,   they are everywhere and denying this contributes to the pain caused to women around the world.

Black History Month & the Greatest Pitcher Ever – Bob Gibson

My favorite baseball player is almost 80 years old next November.    He is about five weeks older than my mother and regardless of the fact that he does NOT know me,   he is my role model,  my baseball idol and a man of great character.

I feel that too many times Jackie Robinson is hailed as the great trailblazer of equal rights.   But Mr. Gibson himself grew up in one of the most dangerous ghettos in America…   Cabrini Green.    His own father died about three months before Bob was born and his brother who was some 15 years older was a kind of mentor.

The song above is probably my favorite from Elvis and conveys the hard reality of disadvantage and self-destructive behaviors.     Growing up in Texas in a segregated neighborhood it seemed that integration was happening and no one had to tell us racism was wrong.   How is it little kids can figure out.   One day this black boy came across me and asked his friends,  “Who is this peckerwood?”     One of my friends from that run down place called the young black child out and told him I was his friend.

Racism was very real but the good part of that change was not a slogan or a gimmick,   we had real problems in our country.   We had Little Rock Hall and the protest of the brave young black students.    I was one year old as this cauldron was beginning to boil over and an ugly scene ensued.

This young lady was a hero and young kids of all races were angry at the over racism and Jim Crowe Laws that permeated the nation and especially  the South.    It was this that the young Cardinal star had to deal with and he did so relatively easily as was his character never to lose at anything.

Gibson had rickets and asthma as a kid and yet become a good basketball player,  averaging 22ppg as a senior in high school.   After that he went on to be an All-American  basketball player at Creighton University.    And from there the Harlem Globetrotters and finally signed with the St. Louis Cardinals.

When pitching for the St. Louis Cardinals in spring training,  black players were not allowed to stay in the hotel that was white only.    Eventually the Cardinals organization fixed that problem.    Imagine being the superstar pitcher in the second best baseball organization and then being spit at in Florida.

The rough life growing up and his competitive nature made him a force in the game and he set one record that is still a record fifty or so years later.   (1.12) over 300 strikeouts and 13 shutouts with 22 wins.    He was a prolific hitter also bashing 24 Homeruns and 144 RBIs.   During the day there were not a lot of televised games and especially the Cardinals so I would listen to KMOX in St. Louis while we were living in upstate NY.      I loved and was proud when watching him pitch and would emulate his pitching delivery.

Mr Gibson like Hank Aaron survived the rigors that racism and hate with class and strength.   One time his catcher Tim McCarver ( a really good one) came to the mound and Gibson, “told him the only thing McCarver knew about hitting was he couldn’t.”

He was known for a blistering fastball and an awesome curve.    When he retired I felt such a deep sadness on a variety of levels.    As the years have passed fans revere him as a classy human and one of the greatest pitchers and one of only a few black pitchers.      So my looking up to him is influenced by so many factors.    I refused to lose and invariably I came through in the clutch every so often.   That included beating an undefeated wrestler in a state tournament,     and an unassisted triple play.    The baseball coach told my little brother that he had large shoes to fill.

I was born in a turbulent time with wars,   bitter conflicts racial and otherwise so I take a dim view of blacks using slavery as a crutch and so do the stars,   businessmen and fathers who do the right thing and do represent the status quo,   There is a lot of work and Ferguson roiled the waters and I am not going to be political but to say,  we collectively have to see each others as valuable as ourselves if not more.

This is a condensed version of my love and respect for this great man and served as a role model to black and white kids.

BobGBGibson45BGBG2

What we are, is who we are or what?

Sometimes the strange is truly stranger than fiction.   Like a Stephen King movie with it’s twists and turns or the drama in a Hitchcock movie.   No need for pointless choreography because the musings of the mind are incredible.

Below is hilarious and I am uncertain if management did this for effect or because he was talented.  Aye!

Sabres  v Maple Leafs

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/satan-be-gone–miroslav-satan-calls-it-a-career-after-iihf-worlds-190438069.html

And of course no story would be complete and especially in this case,  because he played for:  The New Jersey Devils of the NHL.

And then the guy above teaches respect,  an attribute sorely lacking in a loud society but again,   who would have predicted that?

I hate the shows where dumb semi-celebrity slobs make asinine comments about silly souls who had no choice to be born so non-mainstream.    But these commentaries need no explanations as to moral character.

Our society has a field day bashing people who for one reason or another finds themselves the object of ridicule or even akin to modern day lepers.   Providence or whatever has placed us here and we didn’t have a heavenly dream sheet to pick our destination,  cognitive abilities or our own DNA.    It seems that nature and the inexplicable are invisible paradigms which compensate for injustice,  in many cases.

Let’s make the world a better place and I pray that we see that we can make a difference.   We are but a few but we can change a part of the world.   I remember seeing a semi-documentary about Los Angeles where minorities had a garden and the millionaire took that Oasis from them.

One morning the place was leveled by bulldozers and in spite of raising the money necessary to purchase,  the owner lied.   Several years later it is still untouched.  Probably a racial issue,  I am not sure but we can make a difference, if we want to.

EmilysQuotes.Com-amazing-great-positive-life-freedom-justice-honor-duty-mercy-hope-inspirational-Winston-Churchill

Detroit. The Real Decay. Ourselves?

“The attraction of horror is a mental, or even an intellectual, excitement, but the fascination of the repulsive, so noticeable in contemporary writing, can spring openly from some rotted substance within our civilization …”
Ellen Glasgow

Think about it.    We have a form of pornography that is almost passe.   It is a horrible sin to show a nude butt or breasts but we let psycho-social imagery of young girls provocatively dressed and then brutally assaulted and maybe beheaded or otherwise violated.

We yawn if someone is brutally murdered.   And then talk about sexual deviance and ignore the greater sexual smut.    It is…   misogyny.    It depicts nubile young women as sexual objects and then murder them in a frenetic bloody massacre.    We then try to figure out why children and young people become so perplexed.   A sociopath sees a target rich environment and apologists make every excuse for that aberrant behavior.

When the truly horrific happens,  we were far too busy talking about help,  charity and sponsorship.    Where were we when a poor bullied child is sobbing and sitting on a floor in the middle of the school?   Do we call it teen angst or do we analyse the problem and get that confused person some help?

Then stories like Casey Anthony (talk about a sociopath) or Tanya Harding happen,  or Tiger Woods,  OJ Simpson and The Fish that Stole Pittsburgh and when we can’t get enough of the slanderous,  especially the sexual,   we go even further and become transfixed over the almost cult-like feel of one of these scandals.

At the same time,  sexual and physical abuse go unchecked.   We moralize,  we rant and we talk about justice and let the poor bugger die of exposure  to the cold because we were too busy with Foxy Knoxie Amanda Knox.

Yet do we try to understand and fix the root of the problem?   Do we get the person convicted of sexual deviancy a way to get better?   Or do we release these people back into the mainstream to do what they do?

Where has mercy and love gone?  We talk of no tolerance but we arrest a kid using a banana as a gun and missing that AK-47.   Teens mug and kill a feeble 90 year old and then spend weeks on a questionable murder,  in a time with potentially sociopathic cops, charlatan evangelists and parents more eager to settle out of court than helping the victim.

People say there are no rehabilitating murderers and sexual predators and yet we leave unstable people to roam the streets and they don’t even need a gun to cause a lot of heartbreak.    What do we do for the victim and why the victimizer did it in the first place?   Many times the perpetrator was hurt in the same way.   If we are consistent we realize a huge problem.    That easy fixes usually are Hollywood fantasies.

As soon as the hype dies down,  the victims are virtually forgotten by the media.   Trayvon Martin is still dead.   The poor old 90 year was yesterday’s news.   Media has become a breeding ground for narcissistic and delusional circus freaks.   They exploit the story and then do absolutely nothing.   The killer continues to kill and the sexual deviant continues his or her deviancy.

No solutions, no ideas of when some relief may come and just waiting for a chance to editorialize even more.

Seeing Nancy Grace huff and puff about the latest scandal or crime,  one gets the feeling that these crimes are the highlight of their day.

That we can talk about tolerance (or the lack of) for opposing ideas even if they are in the majority.   Wrong will always be wrong but we lack the courage to call wrong wrong and right is really right.

Before Kindle. Airline Bestsellers.

Eastern-Airlines-CoverB47O53jCYAASApA.jpg-large

Above right was our actual crew on flight 666.

I used to remember the long boring flights across the pond and across parts of the U.S.   Airline periodicals (some of those do not exist – Allegheny Airlines, e.g.) were really intense.   Reading copious amounts of airline propaganda and smelling the sweet ambiance of restrooms,  was always a highlight.

I remember when the back two rows were not the only coach seats and where DC -9s and 727s hauled most of the freight.  Still I did  ride a pond jumper into Memphis,  complete lightning strikes,  hail and wind sheer.  The best part of those flights was probably the propeller engines grinding to a stop and the jerking noise made as the wheels grazed the runway and the nose came gliding down.

Also those stewardesses (mostly at the time) won awesome little hats,  serving Gingerale,  stale peanuts and movie reviews on an aircraft with no headsets but plenty of antiquated gas masks.   Still, it wasn’t all bad.  Gone are the days when security personnel didn’t molest octogenarians and three year olds.    A time in which OJs biggest hurdles were football players and suitcases.

But back to that reading fare.   Back then no one was telling you that there will extra charges for additional luggage and one butt bought one seat.    I keep forgetting the reading part.   Anyhow,  before LOL and ROFL we had old magazines that must have been out of date,  even for a doctor’s office.   Periodicals which FDR’s third term and how one day air travel might actually transport people across the country and even the world.

In day when a non-stop flight was done along with crop dusting and mail deliveries.   Could you imagine what they must have read back then?  Or the stewardess (mostly) saying, “oh crap’ had a totally different meaning.   So if you see hieroglyphics and the Original 10-15 Commandments consider yourself lucky.  It could have been worse,  you might have had to watch ‘Annie Hall’ and her polymorphous sexual expressions.   Still trying to find those.   That Woody!!!!

Woodymzl.nodwrhil

Larry’s Angels! Just Catting Around!

Man’s best friend has a bit of the stray cat strut.   And Live Science (the blog site) says the book is out.  In the end however,  cats do not work well with people and that dogs (as wonderful as they are) let humans figure it out while a cat is more persistent.    Maybe stubborn is the right word.   LOL.    Be that as it may,  cats have a smaller pct of brains to body mass but 300,000 to 160,000 million neurons.  So what?  Right?  Maybe, but cats have my fancy and here is why in my mind.

BaaabyLacey1

Baby to the left and Lacey to the right.   Lacey is a crazy sweet SnowShoe Siamese and I hear she speaks about 20 languages,  begging for food that is.

Felix d catHerman

TomFoggie