Silly Love Songs

The moment of awareness of sexuality comes with vistas not before imagined.    Kind of like in the Wonder Years and I was about to find my own Winnie Cooper.

.   But this process was painful and at times I felt like I was watching a show from behind a sound-proof glass.  I was in love with a few girls and a few could see behind the two-way mirrors.    Music was a way to escape and so naturally certain songs were buoyant,  light-hearted and romantic in a way that fit with my own personality.

So I cringe at terms like one-hit wonders, bubble-gum music and silly love longs.   Paul McCartney nailed it and even John Lenin and Yoko Ono proved that commercialized music may not be all that bad.    For me it was Day After Day by Bad Finger and  I pined for a cute little idealistic blond teen.  I remember that we went on a date to the Paddock Room and I stammered and stumbled and was probably incoherent but it was a date and it became news around the school.    One of her friends found out we went out on a date and said that I had the hots for her!  And I did.   I fumbled that ball a few times but years later the ball was back in my hands and I fumbled it yet again.

“What she had realised was that love was that moment when your heart was about to burst.”
Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

She basically told me one day long after High School  that I already found what I was looking for.   Her!   I was confused and botched that badly but she still really liked me,  just a bit concerned that I missed the obvious clues.   It was like I found the pot of gold but just stared at it and then walked away.

The old High School was a special place where we would play basketball on a court that had a shallow ceiling so you had to shoot a somewhat flat shot.  Oddly enough they used to play Varsity Basketball games on that cozy little court.  The place had the old building scent which wafted through it’s halls and hinted at love and life and where in the gutters floated love notes and old trees cried out.

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“What she had realised was that love was that moment when your heart was about to burst.”
Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

One night Mom drove me to the old school and there she was in the crowd still yet coming into focus.  She was pretty as a Blue Jay and wobbly as a colt,  I saw her skating across the ice when she suddenly saw me and smiled.   It was a soft invitation and I took advantage of that opportunity to say “Hi” to her.   I was a terrible skater and was very skilled at falling down.   Noticing that she grabbed my hands and steadied me.   I was in heaven.    The warmth of her body and the prospects of something more filled my mind with curious and yet predictable emotions.

As a side note,  I did have a first love.    The kind where you smile at each other meant you were going steady…LOL

I did have a sixth grade girlfriend named Cheryl and during the fall festival and play I was a paper-machete pumpkin with a green hat that looked like a stem.    Sitting inert on the stage until my cue,  I was rather inspicuous.  Afterwards I dressed in a suit and tie we danced and for some reason it seemed that all the parents with little girls was smitten by me and I had serious game in spite of my shyness.    I had ton of pictures taken by parents and this was more fun than square dancing in gym class.

Next year I was in upstate NY in a very strange place,   where the community was named after our family Ellistown in Barton, NY outside of Waverly and on Ellistown Road.    We moved to the old Brink’s Greenhouse and their fading history replete with a caretaker’s house that become home to hundreds of wasps and other incendiary insects.   My parents found Rhubarb though I had never heard of that before.

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On my first day in homeroom class the teacher accosted poor Ann R. with a comment about the contraband in her mouth. (gum).    I think we were more perplexed about the word (contraband) and I was pondering Ann’s abject humiliation and embarrassment…..

Even at that point were the Freudian connection with her plight and my trying to remain as anonymous as possible.   Things were a bit discomfiting as I was elected to the Student Council for our homeroom.    An honor that I was both proud of and embarrassed by.    I got the feeling the election was more of a joke than an honor.

So the music does play a role in the development of our higher needs.    Merely dismissing out of hand any song because of what some people consider to be corny or not deep is ridiculous.    These songs do get overplayed but that isn’t the artist fault and sometimes the DJ’s either.    From Seasons In The Sun to Sugar Sugar by the Archies,  these iconic pops songs transcended the Rock N Roll critics scorn and embedded themselves in the psyche of our frontal lobes.   These radio voices were our muses and they live forever and a day.

I think it is funny when the rock jocks,  those middle-aged men dressed in black whine about superficial pop songs while wailing on a Fender Stratocaster as their own aging bodies and receding hairlines and pony tails are stuck in a past to be forgotten like an old Class Yearbook and High Times Magazine.     Between have Lava Lamps,  Mood Rings and Chia Pets there are far worse diversions than a Bobby Goldsboro song like Honey.    It is too sappy but Two Live Crew exploits carnal depravity.    Dude,  where’s My Viagra and remote.

or this…..

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Do you know where you’re going to?

Dianna Ross had it right,  but we struggle against the obvious.   The same reality that life is a transient soul a waiting place for something else.   Like I cannot prove to you anything that you are unwilling to accept and the only certainty is deduced from what I believe I know.   I am not seeking approval but at an ear.   To hear my passionate regard for most everyone who has an honest take.   Not the cogitations of mindless babbles trying to sell a book but the real crisis that is every day life.

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In the abstracts our dreams provide a kind of nexus,   to examine our world.   The only deducible result is that we better pay heed to the needs of others.   This idea that we are somehow original is funny because everything we have imagined,  has been thought about before.    It is kind of like salad dressing and choosing between French or Ranch.   We have people who would place their soul on the line just to prove to you that their choice is somehow unique.    None of us are,  exceptionally original.   That is the pride of the status quo.  That some equal would tell us what we already know.   Elucidating on a variable that was somehow hidden.

The brutal reality is that we are created to create.   Our effervescence can be misconstrued as divine intervention but I am sure that a sovereign god does not need endorsements.   Like saying that we know something that God wouldn’t.     OMG Larry,  I never knew that!  ok,  sure!

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And how do we know the answer when we do not know the question?   Last night I dream t that some bad individual was going to take my life.   I hid beneath the ATM drawer,  half suspecting that my location was known.    That person knew I was not in support of him and I think he respected that, given the circumstances.

As things unfolded I spared my own life.    For anyone familiar with ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’  is aware of my conundrum.   For anyone still in doubt it was my sense of fairplay that gave me street cred.   I was able to parlay a take into resolution,  both preserving dignity while saving my life.

I would like to believe myself being in the final and most basic sense as Freudian and as classical and pragmatic as Socrates.    I hate mean people and even if I disagree with a lifestyle,  I would fight for it as saying to bullies,  “Bugger off”.

So what does this mean?   Well I see far too many people pretending that the Emperor’s pecker is not exposed and willing to attest that his rainment is fine and original.  Joan of Arc had nothing to lose but everything and any soldier of any country who is not diabolic,  sees the intrinsic value of a single soul.

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Men would say a ‘penis’ is of the devil but a labiA is not the objective.    They ARE wrong on both accounts.   The demon is in the details and a patriarchal take on decency.  My heart breaks at the lonely soul with no place to live and the idea that others look down on them.   I look down on those who look down on them.    I realize they had no more of a choice than the man in the moon and just maybe that man may know something we don’t.   Afterall,  he loves the Moon and that is his reality and ours but a nuisance to be discarded.

If I sound like a rambling idiot, your perception may be right,   All I know is that suffering goes on unabated.  The teeth of death spares no one but divinity and I am not even sure if that is true.  I believe God respects the questioning soul because I believe he rather tires of obsequious fools.    Letting a witch die was as much a lack of their own  virility as the perverse notion as that young women peeing as she dies hung on a hickory stick.    If you want to locate evil,   it is not Harry Potter or that name who cannot be mentioned but our own infidelity to our own most passionate values.

People who say sex does not matter are abject liars.    Everyone wants to believe that there is some quintessential probity to a random collection of meteoric imaginations.    Fallacious conclusions are less battle worthy than dandelions in an EF-5 Tornado.    And politicians like rock stars find their quarry in the missionary position and that their rewards in intimacy is beyond the ken of ordinary people.

Like the ill-fated garden in LA to the guard in the Wizard of Oz are the implacable assertions of a slave owner on the 4th of July.    In too many occasions women are pussy on a stick.   A most sumptuous carrot of all.   A viking grabs her by the hair and conquers her while oppressing that same valley with an air of the King’s English and the voluptuous boob jobs on a modern day Barbie Doll.    Misogyny  in a mask of velour and beheading the soul of exposure.    Your member truly does depict you and women see the depth of the valley and the intercourse of fairness.

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My next excursion will be the scent of papaya that wafts from the nature of nature and not the moralistic reverberations of hypocrisy.

I would rather have a woman a lot like me.   Sexually inclined and not afraid to be a women and not afraid for me to be a man.   The others are trying to protect something that is not real.

The honest man acquiesces to the notion that the eyes are that flame.   That transcends time and understands her more than any player could hope to.