The Rape Hologram

I watched a movie last night about 17-year-old Eun An. (Nam Bo-Ra).   I highly suggest that anyone who can view this 2012 film, (Don’t cry Mommy), please do! It a very heart-breaking story.    This movie is about more than one victim, it’s about a mom and  daughter’s happy life together,  being shattered irreconcilably.   Making matters,  worse,  is the sexism.    It is a narrative about responsibility and how jurisprudence and its own misogyny,   perpetuates the myths and the realities.     In the end, this it is not a blog meant to bash men,  but rather where to start,  in addressing education.

Don't_Cry,_Mommy-001

“Revolution is the negation of the existing, a violent protest against man’s inhumanity to man(mankind) with all the thousand and one slaveries it involves. It is the destroyer of dominant values upon which a complex system of injustice, oppression, and wrong has been built up by ignorance and brutality.”  Emma Goldman.

Yes,  but what are we going to do about it?  Laws are a means to an end.   Votes! What does this do, for victims?  The net  effect resolves nothing and they do not placate the victims which include, the family of those victims!

In this movie,  a mother seeks revenge.  Because the perps are allowed to go free and the main perp,  gets a couple months of probation.   Eun-Ah in the mean time is let down by the system,  let down by a culture of near silence by and the continuous ‘rape culture’.

To make matters worse, the girl was raped by these assholes, a second time.  With her own self-worth utterly destroyed,  she becomes even more disillusioned.    Now let’s put this into perspective,  a girl is raped, twice!   Her mother is outraged and the legal system suggests, to settle!  The mother throws down the money offered to her.  At that point,  the perp’s family accuses her daughter and her mother as being loose.

After a recent blog on RallyPoint,  one guy used the Duke LaCrosse team as an example of how men suffer too?  WTF?  Let’s break that down also.  I am sure the legal system let them down.   No!  We are not going to go there.  Compared to the millions of girls and women are who are sexually brutalised, an anecdotal inference to that,  is so sexist,  that is no wonder that this issue, propagates into a miasma of legalise.

“I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.”  ‘Jane Austen’.

As a solution,  neither more laws with no justice or settling out of court will cause the rapist to abstain or ,the mother’s sadness to be any less sad.

The solutions are many,  but it will take more than rhetoric and blaming the victim or more laws.  It will require consideration of how the woman feels and judges adjudicate cases against perps.  It will require education and one that is not an attack on all ,males but , listening to mothers, girlfriends and wives.

As an aside,  a friend in Germany of mine was raped.   She asked to hear story about keeping the baby.   I told her that my NOT place to tell her what to do.   Her response humbled me  because she told me that I was that I am the first to not suggest,  but listen.  She was crying!

The name of the game  is being supporting.  It is not about me,  but to advocate meaningful change, which includes,  like the movie, remedies and compassion for victims everywhere.

This show made me cry,  and not feel bad about crying!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why the hate? Do we really care? Really?

Multiple people ask the question and it never really gets answered.   And it isn’t the right question anyway.  The right question is,  why are we all out for blood?  It’s like people are fighting the sixties and seventies all over again and everyone expects immediate gratification.   But there is a problem with that.   First,  you get too many issues all at once and you get anarchy.   And what problems take precedence over others?
Does the abortion rights conflagration get too much play while beheadings, so-called ‘honor killings’ not get the outrage that it deserves.

The problem is political positioning.   Expecting that any concession anywhere will ultimately doom that cause in the long run.   The people who say abortion is murder and those who use the topic as a litmus test for civility.    So rather than be civil we commit acts of tyranny in the name of a particular cause?

Can anyone tell me that they believe stopping the abuse of women is less important than a political take?  Both sides of the debate as it were,  are coming chock full of negatives and a language unique to both.  Pro-Life,  Anti-abortion/choice.    Just like just dropping racial slurs is a panacea to change.   That only ratchets up doubt and distrust over the motives of each.

We also have seen the mentality of throwing people under the jail and why some might deserve that,  we never stop to think that by the grace of god or fate,  it might be us.   So we take away food stamps and take away healthcare as a way of coping with the cost of healthcare?   I am not advocating Obamacare.  I am suggesting that we start putting people first when it comes to need.

There is no excuse for a homeless child and even no excuse for a homeless veteran or anyone else.  Are we pretending to care for others or are we cherry-picking our own causes as if the others will just disappear?  When I hear someone talk about their parent’s choices, that still doesn’t feed the child.   It also does not mitigate the hurt and suffering of women around the world.   This too could be solved.  We talk about how it was when we were kids,  but the problem with that is we had our own problems too!

Wheel chair accessible ramps were relatively rare to non-existent.   People with disabilities were expected to pull themselves up with our approving eye and endorsement.   As if that gets them a job and a place to sleep.   Go to any port authority anywhere and you see the same social hubris that becomes a physical blight to the world.    Put a mentally ill person on the street and then comment about crime.   Send them to jail and you still have to house them at cost.  Not only that but we ignore the root of the problem whether it is an aneurysm or some other form of massive head trauma.

And the resultant problems associated with their illness.   Moreover they are mentally ill and are at fault for their mental issues?   See, that is the problem….  denial.   It will go away and trust me that I know about avoidance and carelessness.   So do we mentor people and educate them?   Do we give people with social problems the middle-finger or do we actually sit down and listen to PEOPLE?   Do we get elected to a committee and become detached or do we really advocate for each other?

I saw a movie called  ‘South Central Farm’ and I have attached a link to it so you can see what was going on and why hate and lies surround people who were doing a good thing.

Now seeing some of the shows about the Homeless and then the other night about a police officer who helps the homeless,  knows their mental issues and treats them humanely.   Unfortunately he is retiring and I think the replacement will do well.    But the problem is arrogance and the thought that we are impervious to adversity.

Rush Limbaugh maligned the homeless advocate for overstating the numbers but he was and is wrong and even if they were inflated,  what about those kids on the streets or our veterans?  There is more than enough to feed people and to get them off the streets without arresting them and trust me when I say this,  I am a conservative.     That doesn’t mean we stomp on the graves of criminals and just put them away and let them feed on each other.    I have no problem with getting bad people off the streets but I would wish we get into dysfunctional homes and stop parents from abusing and killing their own kids.   What is preferable, education and saving the kids or having the kids die and jail the parents?

We need to make an environment where people can live peaceably without being gunned down by thugs or police officers.      Police officers should again be peace officers and respectful of the public without that being unilateral and cops expecting you to kiss their butts.   The growing tension and in the world highlights the path we are on.  Do we listen or do we mistreat people who have been in prison,  jail or a mental institution?   Do we find a better way or just imagine all the Billionaires and Millionaires price us right out of our own homes?  That can’t happen?  Look at gentrification.   Look at attempts by homeless to better themselves and why not be the ones who offer hope rather than just talk about it.