I watched a movie last night about 17-year-old Eun An. (Nam Bo-Ra). I highly suggest that anyone who can view this 2012 film, (Don’t cry Mommy), please do! It a very heart-breaking story. This movie is about more than one victim, it’s about a mom and daughter’s happy life together, being shattered irreconcilably. Making matters, worse, is the sexism. It is a narrative about responsibility and how jurisprudence and its own misogyny, perpetuates the myths and the realities. In the end, this it is not a blog meant to bash men, but rather where to start, in addressing education.
“Revolution is the negation of the existing, a violent protest against man’s inhumanity to man(mankind) with all the thousand and one slaveries it involves. It is the destroyer of dominant values upon which a complex system of injustice, oppression, and wrong has been built up by ignorance and brutality.” Emma Goldman.
Yes, but what are we going to do about it? Laws are a means to an end. Votes! What does this do, for victims? The net effect resolves nothing and they do not placate the victims which include, the family of those victims!
In this movie, a mother seeks revenge. Because the perps are allowed to go free and the main perp, gets a couple months of probation. Eun-Ah in the mean time is let down by the system, let down by a culture of near silence by and the continuous ‘rape culture’.
To make matters worse, the girl was raped by these assholes, a second time. With her own self-worth utterly destroyed, she becomes even more disillusioned. Now let’s put this into perspective, a girl is raped, twice! Her mother is outraged and the legal system suggests, to settle! The mother throws down the money offered to her. At that point, the perp’s family accuses her daughter and her mother as being loose.
After a recent blog on RallyPoint, one guy used the Duke LaCrosse team as an example of how men suffer too? WTF? Let’s break that down also. I am sure the legal system let them down. No! We are not going to go there. Compared to the millions of girls and women are who are sexually brutalised, an anecdotal inference to that, is so sexist, that is no wonder that this issue, propagates into a miasma of legalise.
“I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.” ‘Jane Austen’.
As a solution, neither more laws with no justice or settling out of court will cause the rapist to abstain or ,the mother’s sadness to be any less sad.
The solutions are many, but it will take more than rhetoric and blaming the victim or more laws. It will require consideration of how the woman feels and judges adjudicate cases against perps. It will require education and one that is not an attack on all ,males but , listening to mothers, girlfriends and wives.
As an aside, a friend in Germany of mine was raped. She asked to hear story about keeping the baby. I told her that my NOT place to tell her what to do. Her response humbled me because she told me that I was that I am the first to not suggest, but listen. She was crying!
The name of the game is being supporting. It is not about me, but to advocate meaningful change, which includes, like the movie, remedies and compassion for victims everywhere.
This show made me cry, and not feel bad about crying!
RAPE IS RAPE. Calling it a date-rape, suggests that women, asked for it. This kind of rape is done in a different fashion, but is still what it is…RAPE. The suggestion is that she was drugged, meaning she DID NOT consent! She WAS, er RAPED.
If these RAPES were reported, then another battle happens. The rape kit, the police interview and last but not least, she is pilloried by defense attorneys and has to face the RAPIST. Not to mention the line-up!
Now, the accused RAPIST doesn’t have to prove anything and chuckles as the girl/woman has her entired life affected. She find it IS impossible to live her life. Every unexpected noise, becomes a panic attack. Some hate men and others are forced to watch the accused, either get an aquittal or see him get releasd on bail.
From discovery to an actual trial (if it gets that far), she is poisoned by possible malfeasence and the RAPEE facing intimidation and her own credibility almost ruined. Guys who think, she is easy! What a burden to bear!
Nasty signs are depicting College Women as fresh meat!
Now, there is the college issue!!! There are thousands of RAPES that ARE NOT reported, for the reasons enumerated above. Even more shocking are these hundreds of RAPES, that are NOT reported! The denials of those RAPES are DENIED by College Schools and Universes.
Why? Largely sports-related. As smarmy as this is, some of the refusals and intimidation are by WOMEN! How freaking apalling!! Of all things!! Throwing a RAPEE under the bus! Women as Misogynists, de facto RAPISTS.
And for what? A serial RAPIST! A football or basketball who is basically worshipped. In their recruiting process, the Blue Chip players, recieve HUNDREDS, if not thousands of letters, asking them to play sports.
And some of serial rapists and some of these recruiters ignore their violent tendencies. And it is NOT just athletics, some COEDS are themselves serial RAPISTS. And the motivation is: the school’s reputation! Some Dad’s apple grows horns and some of them, the apple of other their dad’s eyes are emotionally and physically eviscerated.
There is a great documentary ‘Hunting Grounds’ that does more than I can do, in revealing these shocking revelations. I will let you see something, that will PISS you off, I guarantee it!
One other issue is, I had to unfriend a blogger here, because she thought that men can offer nothing to the debate. Oh well! I have sisters, mothers, aunts, a girlfriend (sometimes) cousins, friends and women at large. Being a victim sexual assault, I have more than a right to opine.
As a sidebar, this movie as a two-star movie. Hell, I wonder why?
With 40,000 rape kits un-analyzed, many women give up.
Afterall, RAPE IS RAPE!
Kathleen entered the room. A sense of dread is now pervading her thoughts. Finally, when M,aster Carl looks at her, there is no real recognition, just a look of loathing. Immediately, she is lost. Time stalls. Afraid to comment she waits for an answer, anything remotely resembling clarification.
He says she needs to go, that she is a slave with no alternatives, no expectations, just a tired look of contempt. She takes what little she has. Penniless and jaded, she walks the streets, head down from conditioning, a caldera of loneliness.
Her social deficits and homelessness weigh heavily upon her mind. At a loss, she sees herself as a peripheral player, as a person acclimated to punishment prostituted and jeered at, at sex parties, as Carl looks at her derisively. Suddenly she realizes that she is broken to the point where she feels like a dumpster. Human but only marginally so.
One alternative and only one, with no person to talk to. Bubbles swell in a dead pool, of foolish expectations, convinced her man in black, is a fraud. This she floats in a river going nowhere. Marked with lashes and the taste of cum, her fate was scripted, from the start.