She Fell in Love. Can’t be help responsible!

Back in 1974,  I was a kid,   only 18 years and probably was witness in some way to a date rape.   It sure felt like it because as I was leaving out the dorm that night,  guys were pulling a train on a teen girl and some guy asked me if I wanted to have ‘some.’   I said, “no.”   And besides,  the choice of words haunts me too as well as the whimpering that went along with her disorientation.

I was so naive but a part of my soul has been tortured to this very day.   If I knew then what I know now,   I might have gone postal because I cannot imagine a crime worse than that.     You see,   she was drunk and whimpering.   Damnit.   That really pisses me off.  No girl asks for ‘it.’   Not for that.

 

But date rape characterizations are nothing new and for the longest time just generally accepted.   In the movie ‘Animal House’  the guy was contemplating having sex with a passed out underage girl.    Did she ask for it?  NO! Does it happen?   Hell ya!   Is it any wonder so many women want to spread the pain around.

Going a few years into my adult life,   I had a girl friend and she was given a roofie.    The net effect according to her,  was she never felt the same about anything!    Date-raped by her boss at the mall.   She and I went through hell afterwards and my anger @ jerkoffs intensifies.    My girlfriend was only pieces of ceramic,   like Humpty-Dumpty,  those pieces can’t always be fixed.

I suffer too,  knowing that seedy men with seditious desires lay in wait,   like Jack The Ripper or the Boston Strangler.   In these instances the pain is far worse than death.    It is a slow blood-letting of one’s spirit and sense of control.    We had great times and every once in awhile we would talk.

From her bosses abuse of her,  of us really,   she went on a self-destructive binge with an older guy who was a criminal.   Arrested for a crack ball and spending time in prison,   he seemed to like finding young victims.   Her sister said he liked to read magazines like ‘Barely Legal’ and ’18’.      Yeah one of those!    One day her sister gave me a journal she had written and she had talked to her sister about the parasite she was with and how she missed me and my steady decisions and what would I do in a particular situation.   She said I am the guy that returns the shopping cart.    For awhile I was miffed by that but then got the gist of what she was trying to express.     She also got a disease from this miscreant,   Herpes!

(She fell in love in the first place)))

For some reason these words tick me off.    An otherwise innocent girl and not perfect by any  means,   paid the price for both of you and you both should be ashamed.     And I harbor guilt for not being able to protect her from the smarmy underbelly of the beast that lurks with a touch of wind and a wiff of illicit drugs.

If her mom had not been a prostitute and subjected her to so much,   she might have been able to cry on her shoulders.    She could have  told her Mom what he said and did  and your Mom would turn away.   Flushed with anger and disappointment,  words she heard once upon a time. Now reverberating like a song that plays over and over on a music box.   The ballerina fell suddenly and her porcelain dreams laid like a million shards of what ifs.

So let’s examine some of the dubious comments made by men and boys and mostly they are one and the same.     Your high school heroes and high society icons flickered as capriciously as the stories of high school football players and date rapes.   The bottom-line being the reputation of the boys and a girl who was allegedly asking for it.    She was collateral damage in the game of cat and mouse.

He gave you wine or drugs and told you it was okay.    He promised you everything to dance in the sheets and tomorrow he denies that he even knew you or the things you said,  you couldn’t have meant,  if you did say them….

Their friends and influences probably had mixed emotions about the destruction,   from the boss to the drug abusing narcissist whose real romance is a synthetic cesspool of misery.   Both now share in a common malady with excuses and no care for the damage they were doing.

What once was a fairy tale happiness transmogrified into a hellish world of missed chances.   Where lightning does strike over and over again(in the same place) and the pain still flows,  if even now to more or less a trickle.     In the video above  Boy Meets Girl they dance and sing with a love that we all want and yet finally,  even they play a requiem to a love gone strange.     To me,   as I worked in the media in Tampa,   the song was a fresh time.   A promise.   Together with Paula Abdul’s ‘Straight up’,  it seemed life had spectacular promise,  even after a lost preemie and the mother who ran off for a decade and a half with our daughter.

But life has second chances even if those chances require some modifications to retrofit them to make them work.    I do remember what my daughter said about her 16th birthday and how much she loved me.   That that was her best birthday ever.   This after being lost to me from her early post natal days to about fifteen years later.    Still,   I would NOT change things too much because what if we never rediscovered that and that is why the blog about ‘Ten Years a Single Mother’  and her kids love for her touches my heart.   Kids get the connections and their love is pure if they are loved.

The theme of this entire post is what are we going to do.    Rather than just complain about the pain,  how can we fix a thing?   You,   I and many others have lived on both sides of the track and nothing……  nothing gets fixed by complaining.    We need to put people first because a warm place and a hot dinner matters.

To the abuse of women,  children and the vulnerable,   you and I can change the world.    I have a few things going now.    One is to get Emotional Support Animals and Service Pets for people who need them.    Let’s teach men and society in general how to treat a lady and your kids.    We need to focus on identifying potential abuse and treat the family not a case number but take care of it as a village.  With compassion.    No tolerance policies does not heal a family.    Making rules is what politicians do.   Why do we punish people like Aileen Wuornos the way we do?   Why not find out where at-risk people are and help?   That gives us all a better chance of surviving the obstacles in life.

From murderers to offenders of all kinds,   punishment is the easy part,   preventing tragedies can happen and should happen.    That takes  more than a Breathalyzer and seeing if you can walk a straight line.    How much better will this world be with solutions and not grandstanding politicians and other nabobs using the moment for  personal gain.

Education is the key to everything.   Not just laws but helping people be better people.    Not projecting how good we are,  but how good we can all be,  if we just try.   Ghettos are going nowhere and neither are the homeless,  the drug users and other kinds of abusers.   Let’s get this done and stop maligning others.    The old speck and the log thing.

 

 

Ray Rice had a very bad moment! But so have you! Some things never change.

“I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.”
William F. Buckley Jr.

So now we have yet another controversy (Ray Rice) because men and women alike to ply controversy as along as it does not indict them or their perceptions about themselves.    A trio of cases has made the news and those ready to capitalize on them,  will.  (Ray Rice,  Adrian Peterson and Ferguson)   But like any person who benefits from these kind of cases are not about solutions.   These kinds want to feeled vindicated over something that has no relevance to their own lives.

They are just lazy haters with no plan.   The longer this goes on the less time there is to judge their own missteps and that includes me.    They have a belly full of self-righteous indignation and no one to blame.  Except for the vulnerable who they CLAIM to care about.

Those who wish to bash Janay Rice taking her longer view of this situation,  I want to slap!   Sure Ray Rice has done the unthinkable and their indeed needs to be consequences.   But the most strident critics are those with things to hide or some other agenda.     Or you have the guys who like to present a virtual dialogue,  accusing others of racism, sexism,  misogyny or whatever their minds decide.

These decisions are born of haste,  arrogance and the unfetter cacophony of a lynch mob.    Like the Salem Witch-hunts come in various arrays,  finding some niche in which a person can ruin another.   It is that simple.   People do because they can.  Just like those dysfunctional sex bombs on Jerry Springer.    What is most fascinating about that ‘trainwreck’ is how old flash me some boobs Springer is like a prurient slinky in Chinatown offering some sage advice to people who wantonly exploit each other.

Then are the raucous and indecorous sniggles at a woman objectifying herself by showing her boobs.    This diminishingly embarrassing behavior in encouraged.    Some of these very same people are cheering while teenagers are deemed sex offenders by showing their bodies to their friends and classmates who get an eyeful.    So who made you God?   You cannot even run your own life as the song so aptly put it.  Now, you wish to destroy Rice,  Peterson and Tiger Woods.   I can bet my life that some of you have done worse.

You talk about helping women?  You lie!  Aside trying to ruin the lives of the guilty the world has not changed one bit.    You are part of the problem as long as there is clamoring and no one is listening.  How else can anything ever get better?     Aside from the punitive actions and laws you offer no change in the patterns of abuse.

Hillary had one thing right,  that is literally does take a village to make things like bullying,  abuse and terrorism abate.   Not even a plan just demands of justice.   Taking on the victim like Ray’s wife and making it all about you!  You are complicit in bringing more pain to the world.   You have made the victim’s life harder whilst you munch on Doritos and beat your dog.   Yeah,  I know you did this!

or there is this!

Let’s take charge of our own and stop letting disinterested parties decide our fate and I mean us all.  We all go around not trying to effect change as practically as we can and bomb aspirin factories and tell everyone else how nice we are.   We are never as good or as bad as we want others to believe.

I have lied and have stolen things and have deceived and maybe they may or may not have been crimes but I do not go around giving everyone else a scarlet letter or accuse of them of being a witch,  child molester or a serial cheater of some kind.

It’s like the show (movie)  ‘Mean Girls’.  A revealing look at the innate nature of us all and even those who we thought were incapable of such things.

I like ‘House’.   Does that make me an abuser or a victim?    Does calling a peaceful church goer affect you?   And why do you think anyone owes YOU an apology?   Everybody hurts some times.

It is hard enough to make it in this life without lighting another fire and while we may not have this particular tragedy over our heads we can assure others than there are those who really do care.

Stand up and be heard!! The Abuse of Women and the culture of Narcissism

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzTKzk0OD5Q

Many of you women are playing right into the hands of the classic ‘Misogynist’.   These ersatz men live in ‘Man Caves’ lined with the tears of forgotten dreams.   Admired by your youth and looks,  these men like Hugh Hefner and Larry Flynt  know the difference between young girl and a lady of means and experience.

This ugliness is not exclusive to this country.   In many underdeveloped countries the fate to women are even worse.  In fact,  the rate of rapes is 0.844 per 1,000 people.   This percentage dwarfs the number in percentage for any place else in the world.   It appears as the crime of preference and remember these are weighted averages.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_rap_percap-crime-rapes-per-capita

A few years ago I kept hearing the term ‘LBFM’,  Little Brown Fuck Machine’.   This was an insult to ladies of the Philippines.   The tears of these girls and young women is a cautionary tale.  For if you are found to be one of these,  Have Mercy on your Soul.  I would imagine you have no soul.     Just know this,  you allude to a woman with that term you and I,  will have a serious problem.   I  have a 25 year old daughter and suffering makes us stronger but that doesn’t erase the trauma.   And little boys and in some cases,  men have been nearly ruined much as the 11 year who was killed.

I guess you can say that their life is not so hot.    The basic problem is that the victimizer does not see a person.   And rather than stop the predator,  it may actually encourage them because this is what they wanted.   If I were the King for a Day,  sex education would educate an entire family.    The full weight of impact would rest like a heavy yoke and the emotions by children,  women and the elderly would be tangibly felt.

Right now the predator lies in wait,  far more clever than any fox.   And the system of deterrence is but an afterthought because deterrence only deters the ones that care.    There are so many considerations here and we take the legalistic every time and we see how that works, time and again.   The politicians love to make laws.   It is like calling a street MLK but then doing nothing else than shake hands and win elections.   Who is benefitting here?   Because you see,  it is like ‘System of a Down’ and the song, “They’re trying to build a prison”.    This is more a money maker than a solution.   Instead of ostracizing family members against each other,  let’s prevent this shit in the first place.

People can say they are against crime and what do they do?   Hide behind computers,  lists and titles and think this matters,  when in fact,  the whole legal system is a moneymaker.   All told,  they only care about the symbolic act of creating a better world and if it fits with these ideologues agenda all the better.   Meanwhile children die or grow up to be bitter.  Battered women commit suicide or burn the bastard in his bed.   I am not saying all women are good,  but what I am saying is we pay lip service to change.

In  the projects in Chicago many blacks have had it with all politicians and this includes President Obama.

http://youtu.be/l1qiu8hRZGs        The unvarnished truth here.   These youngins see death and the environment of abuse that gets passed onto their own women.   Whole communities are held at abeyance.   People are waking up to reality and the biggest reality is that women and children are being abused every day and to a lesser extent men.

We all need to make this a cooperative effort.   There are people dying all over the world.   And I cannot see how we can build brand new aircraft only to have them sent to the aircraft graveyard at Davis Monthan AFB.   Did you know, this is the only base that makes money? http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/u-s-air-force-shelving-brand-new-c-27j-spartans-article-1.1479580

So tell me,  why can’t we provide for people in need?  Well part of the problem are those in the community who profit off poverty.  Another is that many are black who exploit needy people.   Some have cute little programs with no real efficacy.   It puts a few people on the employment rolls like the Census takers and not even that.    Let me explain this:   XYZ Company tells prospective job seekers that everyone can get hired.    And some of these actually can but the point here is that they cater to the longterm unemployed.    Many who have no education,   who have criminal records and maybe have a substance abuse problem.

And while we  bust some shitheads dealing dangerous drugs,  far too many are just heads or want a brief break from the poverty.  The especially influential few can do this on the down low while the vast majority cannot.   Furthermore there will be widespread legalization of Marijuana and the reason will not be to help anyone but their political and government coffers.

And to those who have records,   many cannot be employed for a variety of reasons.

This affects women because more serious drug users and I include alcohol are subjecting people to all sorts of  mayhem.   Neither party is innocent but this is not about them.   Many of them are useless and we can no longer say that it is the Republican’s fault because that is just rhetoric.

Oh and feminism does not mean man haters.   No by a long stretch!   Do you think that girls being raped and talking about it is some kind of radical feminism?   You know the answer to this.   And not everyone is a racist white guy or the average white person’s fault.   That too is a straw dog.   It appeals to zealots and miscreants who want to spew ideas that fulminate in racism and reverse racism.   It is time to fix ourselves and our communities because as I see it,   just like the N’ word,  we have the C’word and other notions associated with women that is merely misogyny.    And I believe women need to stop this too.   If we are telling blacks not to drop the N Bomb,  then we need to stop dropping hot grease into the fire and then be surprised when our women are destroyed by friendly fire.

Phony takes!!!

What is one of the easiest topics to write about?   Racism!   More than any other ‘ism’,   this ‘ism’ can hunt.    And I say that rhetorically because there needs to be a distinction between imagined oppression versus the real thing! What is the real thing?   Oppression of women around the world can be alarming.   But I will get back to that part later.    The link below is a lame attempt to claim ‘victimization’. 

http://thenerdsofcolor.org/2013/12/11/whitewashed-tv-isnt-just-racist-its-boring/

This is sophistry and immaturity taken to new levels on a topic that is pure fabrication at it’s best,  a testimony to a society of narcissistic youth who see themselves as victims.   Rosa Parks,  that was truth,   Jim Crowe Laws,  that stuff really happened.   And while there is real abuse happening on so many levels around the world,  our young adults are transfixed on themselves living in a never-never world of stupidity.

Now I did mention reality awhile in this blog.   That reality centers around a great woman,  who has suffered more at the thoughts of world-wide misogyny than her own safety.   You think I am being overly dramatic?  Read this woman’s story below.   She is more than a hero,  she is a woman who has incurred the wrath of leading Muslim Clerics.

I challenge any woman reading this to not be inspired by her work and then to stop focusing on B.S. and start talking about the pain of women around the world.   Women who have received at best a life of continued abuse and at worst, their own lives.

http://freethoughtblogs.com/taslima/2013/12/05/fatwas-court-cases-now-an-fir-against-me-for-telling-the-truth/

Taslima Nasreen is her name.  And here is her blog.   Feminists,  this is your hero.  Please read.

“LUCKNOW/KOLKATA: An FIR has been lodged against controversial Bangladeshi writer Taslima Nasreen for allegedly hurting religious sentiments following a complaint by a prominent Muslim cleric of Uttar Pradesh, a charge which the author said shocked her.

The case was lodged at Kotwali police station by Hasan Raza Khan Noori Miyan, son of the “sajjadanasheen” of Dargah-e-Ala Hazrat Maulana Subhan Raza Khan Subhani Miyan, who objected to certain tweets by Nasreen against clerics on November 6, police sources said here on Thursday.

In the complaint, it was alleged that with her remarks against clerics on Twitter the writer had hurt the feelings of the Muslim community.

Noori Miyan said a fatwa has been issued in the light of Hadees and Quran. It was demanded that the passport of the writer should be seized and she should be arrested.”   

The point to all of this is perspective.  A casual commentary about liking more people of color is true,  but to depict this young lady as a ‘pale white girl’  makes me want to throw up.   That is blatant bigotry and would make any parent angry.   And another thing in the movie ‘Avatar’ the Spanish-speaking lady was edgy.   I think she was Puerto Rican.   Oh,  so that means all PR ladies are edgy?

Anyway,  take a look at this heroic.   Read her factual stories of abuse to women.   If you want to make a change in the world,  do more than name streets MLK BLVD or other token offers,  because children of the poor need a meal more than rhetoric and hate speech against white people as somehow acceptable fare.