Not too long ago, we had two national cases of jurisprudence gone astray. Two victims that were piled onto, by deceptive judges with ulterior motives. Twenty years and ninety days are totally unacceptable. If those morons (judges) had to experience anal penetration, these kinds of cases would be different. Not only that but a national push to get those sain kits processed. This is a problem and that is unacceptable as well.
The response that the attacker is being treated unfairly is laughable, if it weren’t so sad. But let us transcend dogma and emotions. If anything, shield the victim from intimidating stares in the courts, giving justice to the victim and life sentences to the Perpetrator.
Unfairness to attackers makes me want to hurl, but reaction is not enough. Early education that stresses equality and the respect of women. Why are racial epithets more egregious than terms like slut, whore and tramp? To add insult to injury, the male pissing on a victim, was given twenty years and crocodile tears. No way mitigation should be given to men.
All women are beatific regardless of weight, social station and of course, the pulchritude of the soul. Let’s give love to the honor of our sweet young girls and beautiful older women. The waves of misogyny roll in like a tsunami. The aftermath that keeps on giving as the waves of indifference and arrogance pile up like the evening tide. A woman’s right to happiness is an afterthought, while perps plan other attacks.
On a lighter note, listen to the song and the suffering that all souls experience. Let’s find a little bit of compassion and common sense. Morrisette Amon. Let’s keep our hearts open. All rights reserved by Wish 107.5.
I watched a movie last night about 17-year-old Eun An. (Nam Bo-Ra). I highly suggest that anyone who can view this 2012 film, (Don’t cry Mommy), please do! It a very heart-breaking story. This movie is about more than one victim, it’s about a mom and daughter’s happy life together, being shattered irreconcilably. Making matters, worse, is the sexism. It is a narrative about responsibility and how jurisprudence and its own misogyny, perpetuates the myths and the realities. In the end, this it is not a blog meant to bash men, but rather where to start, in addressing education.
“Revolution is the negation of the existing, a violent protest against man’s inhumanity to man(mankind) with all the thousand and one slaveries it involves. It is the destroyer of dominant values upon which a complex system of injustice, oppression, and wrong has been built up by ignorance and brutality.” Emma Goldman.
Yes, but what are we going to do about it? Laws are a means to an end. Votes! What does this do, for victims? The net effect resolves nothing and they do not placate the victims which include, the family of those victims!
In this movie, a mother seeks revenge. Because the perps are allowed to go free and the main perp, gets a couple months of probation. Eun-Ah in the mean time is let down by the system, let down by a culture of near silence by and the continuous ‘rape culture’.
To make matters worse, the girl was raped by these assholes, a second time. With her own self-worth utterly destroyed, she becomes even more disillusioned. Now let’s put this into perspective, a girl is raped, twice! Her mother is outraged and the legal system suggests, to settle! The mother throws down the money offered to her. At that point, the perp’s family accuses her daughter and her mother as being loose.
After a recent blog on RallyPoint, one guy used the Duke LaCrosse team as an example of how men suffer too? WTF? Let’s break that down also. I am sure the legal system let them down. No! We are not going to go there. Compared to the millions of girls and women are who are sexually brutalised, an anecdotal inference to that, is so sexist, that is no wonder that this issue, propagates into a miasma of legalise.
“I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.” ‘Jane Austen’.
As a solution, neither more laws with no justice or settling out of court will cause the rapist to abstain or ,the mother’s sadness to be any less sad.
The solutions are many, but it will take more than rhetoric and blaming the victim or more laws. It will require consideration of how the woman feels and judges adjudicate cases against perps. It will require education and one that is not an attack on all ,males but , listening to mothers, girlfriends and wives.
As an aside, a friend in Germany of mine was raped. She asked to hear story about keeping the baby. I told her that my NOT place to tell her what to do. Her response humbled me because she told me that I was that I am the first to not suggest, but listen. She was crying!
The name of the game is being supporting. It is not about me, but to advocate meaningful change, which includes, like the movie, remedies and compassion for victims everywhere.
This show made me cry, and not feel bad about crying!
Long, long ago, I had a breath-taking affair, that went quite unrequited. This affair was my secret dalliance, her name was Sarah,I pined for Sarah and occasionally, she would sweetly, smile or hugged me. That was tantamount to, an intimate moment. Accordingly I often fantasized about her. She was friendly, as I said, and I lost my faux virginity, in a blaze of glory.
Then, Eureka, we had a date. I was so passive-aggressive, so shy, but she, in her days of in a one-sided relationship, constantly hurt, waiting for him to call. I had a song to always remind me, of her. “Day after day.” I was, lonely but hopeful. So it was not only me but her as well. I was the better guy, at least, to me.
I know that sounds, crazy, but that is the way it was. So, I started seeing others surrogates for a time. These nice girls were surrogate lovers. I finally found another a girl, in fact, she was more than that, she became my first hard copy girlfriend. She was beautiful with long black hair, cascading down to her lower back. She was an heir to my affections. We cuddled, held hands and went to the Senior Prom. She and I remained constant, but my going into the service, was just too much. It was hard, but life goes on.
My virginity was willfully taken by a young woman, about my age. One evening, I am going home, and I had an epiphany, She wants more than someone to watch T.V. with. I was happy and nervous, at the same time. I was 24, going on 25. She was sitting in my lap, those, ministrations, wooed me. Her eyes holding me prisoner and that was it. My aut0-erotica partly banished. Like Steve Martin, I had my purpose!!! lol,
She upset me, as we were driving back towards the base. She was complaining about something and I yelled at her. She felt guilty and so did I, eventually. When I went back to weather school, she was constantly calling ME and it felt rather good. I was going through, a delayed puberty, with hormones holding me at bay, and it felt like ‘The Stockholm Syndrome.’ Who was I to complain? I remember that she and I, were bowling. I sucked, and she had games of 240 and 260. I bowled a 140 game. Some guy was watching us, and said, “she should go pro”. I said, “she already is.”
I did see Sarah again. She and I went to breakfast and I said to her, “let’s take a trip to Fayetteville, Arkansas”. This was spontaneous and it was cool! We had a great time! Though short-lived, because she had to have surgery. I was on a roll. She told me, “What you need, you have already found.” Meaning her, but my shyness, cost me, something very special. Life goes on.
Up and down, like a pregnant pause, that having more than one context. and for another time. Now, as certain as death and Texas! lol. You feel me? Anyhow, this subtext is beautiful. Back on Earth!
I always wanted to visit my old church, but not at about 11:00 PM… Needless, to say I did!! Of course, the Minister had since passed away. There are a lot of memories in that real estate and more are to come. As I scan across the street, I see the old high school and I start walking slowly. The cool air penetrates my armor as I continue on.
About half-way to the school, I stop! I notice a place where we used to ice skate. Unfortunately for me, I on my back with realizing, any kind of skating is not my bailiwick. Memories of first love was imprinted on my emotions. The Gazebo and the ice rink still there.
Curiously, I notice, that the front entrance is slightly ajar. As I approach, there is a kind of de-Ja Vu. My heart races, as I step inside, a war room of hormones, full of peace and the irrevocable heat of days now irretrievably gone. Now my life gets weirder. A warm breeze now replaces the coldness outside. I notice a locker, with a lock and it is secure. The combination lock has to be least, sixty years old!
As I notice, a combination lock and as I twirl the dial, I hit the jackpot. The lock opens with a click and the locker door comes open. I look below and then above. On the upper shelves are a few books, neatly arranged and I reach for the highest, of them. As I open that book, the card with the names of past owners are faded but the dates still discernable. On the back of the card are a few more names and below, is a kind of message, that I assume is addressed to someone.
I return the book to it’s original place, shut the locker and fasten the lock. As I turn around, the door across the hall is cracked. The old classroom door squeaks open. A few of the original desks are decorated with love notes, etched into the wood. As I look around, I see an empty bed. It is meticulously made, with a white comforter, with tiny red Wolverines.
A paradox now happens. Where it was hot, it is suddenly very hot, with a light cooler breeze that meets my face. I follow the draft to the bed, where I repose and laying there, I fall into a dream, where a smiling face, greets me. All of a sudden, I feel a warm pair of lips on my own. Not sure if this were a dream or the real thing, I see a face. It is much older but has a face I do not recall, but as the light becomes lighter, I recognize an angel, putting a hand over my mouth and whispering. “Where have you been? All of a sudden, the face appears clearer and I mention her name out loud.
Many years had passed, but it was like yesterday. Of faces familiar and in a school I never attended, but it all comes back. A sea of words, replaced by our awestruck faces; we together and say, “how have you been?” She just smiles!
Kind of ironic, I think. A pet, finds happiness in a plastic bag. She finds intrigue there. Simple, safe and happy. This cat is younger than the other cat. Baby is everywhere I go, she rests at the door until, I come in.
I am not sure of who the pet really is. She sleeps in the day, and treats the room as a kind of ‘Disney World’. I am sure has broken the sound barrier, as she glides across the room and making a lot of noise. My first inclination is to tell her, to behave. But when I ponder this, I am happy in her noise.
She is like a light house, esconsed on a hill, a guidepost of what lies ahead and unconditionally watches our for us. She has a responsibililty to her sub, a quiet recollection of harmony, and I like marmalade, adding flavor and robust reminders, through her play. At times, she uses her to paw, to get my attention. And she wants me to rest, while she nestles next to me. I felt her paw on my elbow, many times, reminding me, of what matters most in this world.
My other cat, already 15, is a bit more sedate in that regard, but man is she a sweetheart. I swear, she has two purr motors. She purrs and then she seems to add a purr and loves to cuddle in my arms. As she looks around, I mention her name (Lacey) and her heads move over to my head, as if hugging me. Really cute in that way. A real lover, happy in her affair. And this, after the redolent balm of friendship.
Two types 0f anchors, equally good, each with their own plastic bags, a place like a harbor, the boats and bags, coming in and out.
I heard the loud gossip. The unremitting implacable voice that bled tyranny without a purpose. The dangling nuances floated like dandelion leaves weaving themselves intricately in the still practically still air. Soon the caterwauling traversed the Ivy walls and permeated a culture. The perceived sin was a stain and the accuser with a letter opener divulging it’s contents with savage alacrity.
Pretty soon more bees appeared humming innuendo in consonance, breeding a fomenting tide. The woodchucks were building a dam to a pent up rage. Finding philosophy, clarifying perceptions and sustaining the crackling whip.
Now the tide’s foams where churning, this mass moving forward in soliloquy followed by a sneeze. The steady hum of ceiling fans and the bubbling cauldrons of digestion echoing about. Terse abeyance with the clicking clock, this momentary lapse in a long and counterproductive day.
The victim’s penance was not enough! The dirty closet was for later and now just the poison of a sting, it’s arrow embedded in the heart. The poor Butterfly felt dizzy and the drawing of the curtain too much. This Monarch was unseated, it’s clefted speech unrecognizable. There really was no sustaining sin or the need for such whippings for the Antlers of the accuser gored with reckless glee.
White linen appeared, as a Praying Mantis praying her sublime ode with perfume and the perfunctory slap of heavenly quiet. Reckoning not with shackles but a compromised self-image, the progression of a pendulum, striking the atavistic cheek with a dose of reality. The Victim like the Swan apoplectic at it’s good fortune, humbly then cast aside the hurt in favor of a favorable outlook. Exonerated and unimpeachable joyfulness like the bells of a church chattering.
To a pastoral scene within a dream of Tanzanite Blue and the shifting sands of time to a reverence and the hand of God looking kindly, prodding, reassuring. You are safe, feel the cascading waterfalls wash away ordinary blame… Resolved…..
I was watching a show called ‘Parks and Recreation‘. I have fallen in love with the cast. The girls are pretty, talented and on the same page. The lead actress Amy Poehler hangs out with the other the regular ladies of the cast including Rashida Jones who likes the young girl played by Aubrey Plaza. Rashida is one of the cutest/most beautiful ladies in Hollywood or anywhere else for that matter and her father is the famous Quincy Jones. She appears to be as sincere in real life as she is on the show. She made a comment that resonated with me by basically saying society has hypersexualized today’s young women and she is kind of a mentor to the uber cute Plaza. A kind of big sister to the young Plaza who is really not really so far apart in age. Women looking out for women especially the younger ladies who are trying to fit into the landscape of adulthood and they do not deserve the craven desires and sexist comments that diminish all women.
Aubrey has the most vexing eyes and her stares coverup the fact that she is a sweet young woman. She started off playing a 17 year old and she looked the part. Her deadpan humor is well-suited to the likes of The old ‘Bob Newhart Show‘ but she puts off the vibe of a more cagey young woman. If looks could kill, she is a comedic serial killer of a kind. Once acclimated to her style it is not hard to fall in love with the character. But here is where it turns ugly. And it is not her so much, as the Paparazzi types who are nothing more than pedophiles seeking to deflower the innocent daughters and sisters of this world.
I am not sure when the sex video of her masturbating graphically on cam happened but this is precisely the thing that media needs to stop! Now! The hypersexualization of this young woman is evil, for lack of a better word. At one moment she is an attractive teen and the next a 20-something molested by the prying eyes of buttholes with no sense of respect.
The same could be said for the Olsen twins. Both have medical problems but worse than that is that when they turned 18, it was like Shark Week. Every perverted guy and a few gals spewed all kinds of negative and salacious gossip, pictures and DVDs of the young starlets. The comments are so vile and trashy, that if they were my kids I would be out to kick some perv ass.
The girl from Harry Potter Hermione in the raw is the delight of many a grown man and the younger versions as well as the coming of age girl. But really? The Philippines are known for their beautiful young women, who in one magazine are called, ‘Little Brown Fuck Machines’. That makes my blood boil! I love the group from that country called “MYMP” (Make Your Mothers Proud) because it is in direct contrast to the meat market mentality of men and women who exploit young ladies and even girls and many guys too.
The media and gossip rags have a field day with the 20-something starlets whose parents prey upon their paychecks and disregard the grown up young lady who has to sort this all out. Lindsay Lohann is the cause du jour for those stupid gossip columns. Her mom and dad are both totally worthless. Disney girls are no longer having their periods before the lecherous predators are picking away their nubile bodies. No wonder Hannah Montana traded in her preteen audience for the lude and lascivious trappings of a virtual porn princess. Making it worse is that tongue action and again with the parents. The pretty young lady from American Horror Story, Taissa Farmiga is but another example. The gorgeous young starlet in the last season, ‘The Coven‘ was having sex with a guy in the hospital and her sex caused the guy to bleed out.
Amanda Bynes, Jennifer Love Hewitt (a name that just puts a target on the young lady). Selena Gomez and the list goes on and on and on. I can only think of two to three young girls who have essentially survived in tact and that being Melissa Joan Hart, Annette Funicelloand to some extent Shakira. At least she has controlled her own sexuality but it seems there is a different mindset in other countries or at least some of them. Working in a pharmaceutical with Cubans in Tampa, the father of the owner had hassled his son at 13 to get laid. To be a real man and to hell with the girl who then not good enough to marry. Huh?
So we have lowlifes like the members of NAMBLA, a group’s motto which is, If they are eight, it’s too late! We have sex trade workers and slasher movies whose young teens are running around in cut-off shorts, big boobs and then are butchered like the fatted calf in a Jewish Ceremony in old Jerusalem. In Conan the Barbarian, Conan is given a porcelain, perfectly complected young white girl and the narrator describing her ‘from the finest stock‘. Women as property! Chatel like Hershey kisses for the privileged Caligula-like characters. In Conan, James Earl Jones the nefarious leader has a young virgin jump from a cliff to her death. His commentary: “That is power. The power of flesh.
But what are the answers, the solutions to a problem that many could care less about. It is safe to say that the punitive route gets us no farther along than revenge and prevention beats a headstone or the casualties of sexual assault any day. To an extent, Aileen Wuornos was punished for her PTSD and while no one can be certain that should would have done these things anyway, I wonder at the callousness of a society whose morals are conditional and feeds their sense of entitlement. If anything some of these middle class people are lying to themselves, in that their relative good fortune was set out by providence or the collusion of dark matter and extra dimensional planes and not their intrinsic goodness. For if they say that, then the innocent girl may have had it coming. We have had that happening forever now, so that is nothing new.
Hollywood, stop! Lawmakers, make laws that benefit all people and that more importantly are prophylactic measures against the abused who often turn out to be abusers as well. The black teenage girl who here in NC was raped several times and had anxiety issues, anger and a sense of hopelessness. You bureaucrats may know the rules but often these same rules are passive-aggressive ways of making the hungry, the homeless and the forgotten, feel even worse about themselves as they did before.
Conservatives, obviously the system is there to make money and by denying foot stamps to drug abusers make them more dangerous as now they are hungry and angry too. Do not stigmatize those with mental problems because they won’t get treatment. I would rather sexual predators to be safely housed and getting treatment in contrast to being on the streets or in the prison systems. Gangsters killing gangsters. That is a no win situation.
We know what the right thing to do is. Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and many others are indeed poverty pimps and for the price of 10, F-35s we can do a lot of good. Stop applying for public service jobs like Food Stamp personnel and section eight housing recipients and then having an attitude against your clients, the people you should be helping.
One lady at a VA Hospital was making fun of suicidal veterans. She thought it funny to minimize their pain and hanging them in effigy. Her job, to help these same veterans. Isn’t that special?
At-risk kids make for at-risk parents so we need to be generous, Before long we will have our first trillionaires and already over 1,000 billionaires. You would think they could do more since God or the cosmos placed you in your place. You didn’t apply for your lot.
Wake up people before things get too far out of hand. And you American-haters, bite me. No society has a premium on wisdom, even amongst the wise we have fools who just happen to have a large safety net that they got by all forms of slavery and theft.
The last song hits home for me. I remember watching this movie only two weeks before my daughter and I met after 15 years of being missing. Essentially kidnapped by her Mom. Dreams do come true and when I called and told her, “Rachel this is your dad”. I heard crying. This is what a girl needs!. Not bullying and the pressure to grow up too fast because we are too lazy or too preoccupied and do not give a crap by the pain we inflict on her.
Multiple people ask the question and it never really gets answered. And it isn’t the right question anyway. The right question is, why are we all out for blood? It’s like people are fighting the sixties and seventies all over again and everyone expects immediate gratification. But there is a problem with that. First, you get too many issues all at once and you get anarchy. And what problems take precedence over others?
Does the abortion rights conflagration get too much play while beheadings, so-called ‘honor killings’ not get the outrage that it deserves.
The problem is political positioning. Expecting that any concession anywhere will ultimately doom that cause in the long run. The people who say abortion is murder and those who use the topic as a litmus test for civility. So rather than be civil we commit acts of tyranny in the name of a particular cause?
Can anyone tell me that they believe stopping the abuse of women is less important than a political take? Both sides of the debate as it were, are coming chock full of negatives and a language unique to both. Pro-Life, Anti-abortion/choice. Just like just dropping racial slurs is a panacea to change. That only ratchets up doubt and distrust over the motives of each.
We also have seen the mentality of throwing people under the jail and why some might deserve that, we never stop to think that by the grace of god or fate, it might be us. So we take away food stamps and take away healthcare as a way of coping with the cost of healthcare? I am not advocating Obamacare. I am suggesting that we start putting people first when it comes to need.
There is no excuse for a homeless child and even no excuse for a homeless veteran or anyone else. Are we pretending to care for others or are we cherry-picking our own causes as if the others will just disappear? When I hear someone talk about their parent’s choices, that still doesn’t feed the child. It also does not mitigate the hurt and suffering of women around the world. This too could be solved. We talk about how it was when we were kids, but the problem with that is we had our own problems too!
Wheel chair accessible ramps were relatively rare to non-existent. People with disabilities were expected to pull themselves up with our approving eye and endorsement. As if that gets them a job and a place to sleep. Go to any port authority anywhere and you see the same social hubris that becomes a physical blight to the world. Put a mentally ill person on the street and then comment about crime. Send them to jail and you still have to house them at cost. Not only that but we ignore the root of the problem whether it is an aneurysm or some other form of massive head trauma.
And the resultant problems associated with their illness. Moreover they are mentally ill and are at fault for their mental issues? See, that is the problem…. denial. It will go away and trust me that I know about avoidance and carelessness. So do we mentor people and educate them? Do we give people with social problems the middle-finger or do we actually sit down and listen to PEOPLE? Do we get elected to a committee and become detached or do we really advocate for each other?
I saw a movie called ‘South Central Farm’ and I have attached a link to it so you can see what was going on and why hate and lies surround people who were doing a good thing.
Now seeing some of the shows about the Homeless and then the other night about a police officer who helps the homeless, knows their mental issues and treats them humanely. Unfortunately he is retiring and I think the replacement will do well. But the problem is arrogance and the thought that we are impervious to adversity.
Rush Limbaugh maligned the homeless advocate for overstating the numbers but he was and is wrong and even if they were inflated, what about those kids on the streets or our veterans? There is more than enough to feed people and to get them off the streets without arresting them and trust me when I say this, I am a conservative. That doesn’t mean we stomp on the graves of criminals and just put them away and let them feed on each other. I have no problem with getting bad people off the streets but I would wish we get into dysfunctional homes and stop parents from abusing and killing their own kids. What is preferable, education and saving the kids or having the kids die and jail the parents?
We need to make an environment where people can live peaceably without being gunned down by thugs or police officers. Police officers should again be peace officers and respectful of the public without that being unilateral and cops expecting you to kiss their butts. The growing tension and in the world highlights the path we are on. Do we listen or do we mistreat people who have been in prison, jail or a mental institution? Do we find a better way or just imagine all the Billionaires and Millionaires price us right out of our own homes? That can’t happen? Look at gentrification. Look at attempts by homeless to better themselves and why not be the ones who offer hope rather than just talk about it.
The world can be a tricky place with thin spots in the ice while crumbling quite literally beneath our feet. One person flaunts the fact gaining attention for their intrepidness. This is a figurative ice and I will explain. We all go through our moments of self-discovery. Coming of age in our right without the knowledge of it beforehand. It is one thing to hear the story of the Birds and the Bees and quite another to feel what we feel.
During my Junior High days there was a classmate who had sex outside of the old school next to the football stadium. As stories go, this sounded like a date rape fantasy of a pretty and innocent girl but none-the-less it was prurient in nature, a myth of the preteen years. The same story-teller told of the time he had touched a classmate in the bathroom of her parent’s house. One gets the idea here in Sixteen Candles and Molly Ringwald’s panties. The sheer awe of the unknown and to the Devil with the details and how they affect others.
So using the skater analogy again let’s consider this ice. A person decides to lie about something. Perhaps that diving off a water tower into a shallow retention pond is safe. The problem is not whether anyone has tested this out in reality but simply repeated old tales. They may even say they have jumped, while they have not. Person B thinks they need some Street Cred and invariably suffer because of it.
The girl above did in fact move away but I never heard anything else about again. As to the reason or reasons why and the alleged facts by a somewhat silly boy telling other silly boys lies. And before anyone plays the Ace just be sure that there are still aces remaining.
We seem to operate at our best with someone to keep us in line. And that when no one is looking, when take something that is not ours, The human condition, I guess.
This all reminded me of the events during my school days and how these cracks in the ice, happen to the innocent and who cries for the victims in life? Like I saw at a Soup Kitchen, where a relatively young man, dressed badly, smelled worse and had a big wound on his neck that was soaked with blood. He started acting out an the Deputy summarily threw him out. A young woman at another table commented that he was not like that before going to Prison.
And in a movie I saw from one of the Baltic States where two young girls used their looks for advantage. These were nothing more than jumping lines and getting boys to hold their books on the way home from school. The more beautiful girl was able to fend off the lecherous older guy until one day she was kidnapped, passed around and eventually decided to marry this POS. Too young to be married, her advantage slipped away.
Her more conservative girlfriend stopped her from using her gun on her husband who murdered her ex boyfriend for no other reason than jealousy. The conservative girl went to the wedding while loathing the miscreant who forced a young girl into a bad situation. The more modest girl started to dance a very ethnic dance with adult movements and wowed the revellers and I guess were enamored. Anyway, part of life for women around the world is this kind of subjective justice and it sucks. The pressure of being weaker doubles down when their very utility is neutralized by seedy creeps and bullies.
I saw a blog that needs some kudos and some elaboration. While we have lots of new stories and a lot of laws we get little else. And for those who make it a feminist issue only you need to check into the Betty Ford Clinic because you are part of the problem. The blog below is good because it hits upon the very nexus that is needed to effect real change.
“Any man that alludes to women as whore. sluts or any of those terms piss me off. It is sexism at it’s worse and women who use those words are committing the same act of sexism.
Why does it matter? Is liking asking she asked for ‘it’. We had this debate about 20 years ago when a Miami prostitute was wearing see-through clothes. The rapists said she was asking for ‘it’.
I called the radio station and claimed that women were and are subject to an “inherent sexual bias”. In effect saying that guys can be whores but that girls really are. Words do matter and young children may begin to repeat the lies.
Is it any wonder then that we excuse this? Is it any wonder that a rape happens then the rapist is allowed to barter legally and the best a woman can get is a civil suit?
So, at the end of the day what has changed? Laws look pretty like the “whores” they allege to protect. I use that term for effect since it is the continued and prevailing attitude among males and our system of jurisprudence.
Look at rape or any other form of abuse and we get laws. Nothing but a cash crop with a bunch of broken women and the harassment associated with just going with the flow.
This is a good blog because it underscores in sexual terms a kind of free-floating bias against victims.”
The comment above is one I made in response and the one below the one case that I was alluding to from Florida. How does this happen and how will it change the future? In another case an immigrant was assaulted and justice was served but the underlying issue was “she deserved it”.
Don’t get me wrong. Offenders should be made to pay but a greater emphasis should be made to alter perceptions and how our responses color our perceptions since we were little kids. ‘Experts’ disagree as to what age we stop forming our personality from about three to seven years of age. Given that, what can we do?
We cannot control everyone twenty-four hours a day but it is painfully obvious we are not making a lot of tangible progress. How do we preserve the natural instinct of men and women and still have respectfulness? Sexuality is not just a cognitive process. We have our perceptions and our instincts.
“According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role; and the ego is the organized, realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego.”
“No More fawning, pandering, spineless, celebrities trying to show the world how wonderfully “enlightened” and “progressive” they are and trampling all over the remains of their own dignity in the process.
No More infantilizing women and demonizing men.
No More feminist propaganda.”
Still what do these PSAs do? And who are these people? What have they done? Most importantly, what is the message and how can it be fixed? Do laws fix our problems or enrich the legal system, estrange people and make people paranoid of each other? As long as we pontificate, hand-wring and make hyperbolic gestures, focus is diverted from the problem and that is respect for each other.
“Barefoot and pregnant” is a figure of speech most commonly associated with the controversial idea that women should not work outside the home and should have many children during their reproductive years. It has several other meanings as well.
The phrase “barefoot and pregnant” seems to have been introduced in the early twentieth century by Arthur E. Hertzler, the Horse-and-Buggy Doctor’ from Kansas: “’The only way to keep a woman happy,’ he said, ‘is to keep her barefoot and pregnant.’” By mid-century, the phrase had passed into common parlance, so that an article from 1949 states, “By early 1949, TWA was—in the words of its new president, Ralph S. Damon—both ‘barefoot and pregnant.'”
The variation “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen” has been associated with the phrase “Kinder, Küche, Kirche” (translated “children, kitchen, church”), used under the German Empire to describe a woman’s role in society. A comparable phrase, “Good Wife, Wise Mother“, emerged in the 1870s in Meiji Japan, and was used as a means of restricting female access to the public realm there, before spreading more widely in East Asian culture.
All men are a stereotype to some feminists with absolutely no redeeming value and nothing to contribute. The men who have doting wives who are depicted as permanently emotionally disabled. From the Burning Bed to Archie Bunker and his Edith, they are secondary and mere props and sexual objects in the case of Farrah Fawcett.
There is a lot of fail here and yet, there are those women who become accustomed and go with the flow as much as Carmela and Tony Soprano. We have Charlie Sheen and his tiger blood, being elevated to a status of drug abuser and self-admitted ‘whore mongerer.” No more what Charlie? House Arrest?
Girls were girls and men were men? Today we have teens and politicians sexting and we have more Laws. What have those laws done? More sex offenders? All the while the number of incidents increase. America and the world portray sexuality being on the verge of illicit boundaries codified with Judges with teenaged girls and boys.
Then we have Miss Phoebe Cates and boobage while Judge Rheinhold finds himself pining for the perfect girl. The confluence of reality and embarrassment. The gray areas become diffuse and yet scenes of date rape and exploitation meld into the minds of young adolescent boys and girls.
And the race to deflower young women is all over the place. From Hermoine, and the Olson Twins to Hannah Montana and Taissa Farmiga the race to show their nude bodies or in sex scenes and scandals. It is like Barely Legal Magazine for young actresses. Taissa was depicted as a minor and in one episode she was having sex with a patient while he was dying. Kind of brutal with an explanation point.
You see, hormone-driven adolescents and middle-aged lurkers think about their conquests against those considered as easy. Two different messages being sent with exploitation of sexuality and the craven desires of Hollywood and musicians.
The answer is to respectfully introduce each gender with realistic views of what makes us human and down playing depravity or simply to examine ourselves. This is not meant to be male-bashing but to examine where we are and where we are going with respect to each other.
Maybe counseling new parents and expecting parents on how to act around children and even pregnant women so as not to traumatize children and infants.
Let’s start treating each other better. Let’s feed one another and a safe warm place to be. That adult was a baby at one time and I think the adult should not be just a statistic for Social Security purposes. Radical feminists need a change of heart and men who harass and debase women need to learn early our biological differences and respect for those differences.
Not to demonize women or men but to teach the Golden Rule. That starts early and is a lifelong process. We can not afford to be merciful, to the sick, depraved or poor. We need to do our part in making this country safe and be strong enough to lead to a better tomorrow. No more hatred directed to anyone whether they be straight, gay, military or civilian, adult and child. Can we evolve?
Back in 1974, I was a kid, only 18 years and probably was witness in some way to a date rape. It sure felt like it because as I was leaving out the dorm that night, guys were pulling a train on a teen girl and some guy asked me if I wanted to have ‘some.’ I said, “no.” And besides, the choice of words haunts me too as well as the whimpering that went along with her disorientation.
I was so naive but a part of my soul has been tortured to this very day. If I knew then what I know now, I might have gone postal because I cannot imagine a crime worse than that. You see, she was drunk and whimpering. Damnit. That really pisses me off. No girl asks for ‘it.’ Not for that.
But date rape characterizations are nothing new and for the longest time just generally accepted. In the movie ‘Animal House’ the guy was contemplating having sex with a passed out underage girl. Did she ask for it? NO! Does it happen? Hell ya! Is it any wonder so many women want to spread the pain around.
Going a few years into my adult life, I had a girl friend and she was given a roofie. The net effect according to her, was she never felt the same about anything! Date-raped by her boss at the mall. She and I went through hell afterwards and my anger @ jerkoffs intensifies. My girlfriend was only pieces of ceramic, like Humpty-Dumpty, those pieces can’t always be fixed.
I suffer too, knowing that seedy men with seditious desires lay in wait, like Jack The Ripper or the Boston Strangler. In these instances the pain is far worse than death. It is a slow blood-letting of one’s spirit and sense of control. We had great times and every once in awhile we would talk.
From her bosses abuse of her, of us really, she went on a self-destructive binge with an older guy who was a criminal. Arrested for a crack ball and spending time in prison, he seemed to like finding young victims. Her sister said he liked to read magazines like ‘Barely Legal’ and ’18’. Yeah one of those! One day her sister gave me a journal she had written and she had talked to her sister about the parasite she was with and how she missed me and my steady decisions and what would I do in a particular situation. She said I am the guy that returns the shopping cart. For awhile I was miffed by that but then got the gist of what she was trying to express. She also got a disease from this miscreant, Herpes!
(She fell in love in the first place)))
For some reason these words tick me off. An otherwise innocent girl and not perfect by any means, paid the price for both of you and you both should be ashamed. And I harbor guilt for not being able to protect her from the smarmy underbelly of the beast that lurks with a touch of wind and a wiff of illicit drugs.
If her mom had not been a prostitute and subjected her to so much, she might have been able to cry on her shoulders. She could have told her Mom what he said and did and your Mom would turn away. Flushed with anger and disappointment, words she heard once upon a time. Now reverberating like a song that plays over and over on a music box. The ballerina fell suddenly and her porcelain dreams laid like a million shards of what ifs.
So let’s examine some of the dubious comments made by men and boys and mostly they are one and the same. Your high school heroes and high society icons flickered as capriciously as the stories of high school football players and date rapes. The bottom-line being the reputation of the boys and a girl who was allegedly asking for it. She was collateral damage in the game of cat and mouse.
He gave you wine or drugs and told you it was okay. He promised you everything to dance in the sheets and tomorrow he denies that he even knew you or the things you said, you couldn’t have meant, if you did say them….
Their friends and influences probably had mixed emotions about the destruction, from the boss to the drug abusing narcissist whose real romance is a synthetic cesspool of misery. Both now share in a common malady with excuses and no care for the damage they were doing.
What once was a fairy tale happiness transmogrified into a hellish world of missed chances. Where lightning does strike over and over again(in the same place) and the pain still flows, if even now to more or less a trickle. In the video above Boy Meets Girl they dance and sing with a love that we all want and yet finally, even they play a requiem to a love gone strange. To me, as I worked in the media in Tampa, the song was a fresh time. A promise. Together with Paula Abdul’s ‘Straight up’, it seemed life had spectacular promise, even after a lost preemie and the mother who ran off for a decade and a half with our daughter.
But life has second chances even if those chances require some modifications to retrofit them to make them work. I do remember what my daughter said about her 16th birthday and how much she loved me. That that was her best birthday ever. This after being lost to me from her early post natal days to about fifteen years later. Still, I would NOT change things too much because what if we never rediscovered that and that is why the blog about ‘Ten Years a Single Mother’ and her kids love for her touches my heart. Kids get the connections and their love is pure if they are loved.
The theme of this entire post is what are we going to do. Rather than just complain about the pain, how can we fix a thing? You, I and many others have lived on both sides of the track and nothing…… nothing gets fixed by complaining. We need to put people first because a warm place and a hot dinner matters.
To the abuse of women, children and the vulnerable, you and I can change the world. I have a few things going now. One is to get Emotional Support Animals and Service Pets for people who need them. Let’s teach men and society in general how to treat a lady and your kids. We need to focus on identifying potential abuse and treat the family not a case number but take care of it as a village. With compassion. No tolerance policies does not heal a family. Making rules is what politicians do. Why do we punish people like Aileen Wuornos the way we do? Why not find out where at-risk people are and help? That gives us all a better chance of surviving the obstacles in life.
From murderers to offenders of all kinds, punishment is the easy part, preventing tragedies can happen and should happen. That takes more than a Breathalyzer and seeing if you can walk a straight line. How much better will this world be with solutions and not grandstanding politicians and other nabobs using the moment for personal gain.
Education is the key to everything. Not just laws but helping people be better people. Not projecting how good we are, but how good we can all be, if we just try. Ghettos are going nowhere and neither are the homeless, the drug users and other kinds of abusers. Let’s get this done and stop maligning others. The old speck and the log thing.