When Women Are Victimized and Misogyny.

You know,  I am sick of this.  I am sick of there being a problem and then swept under the rug.   Case #1 ,  another alleged sexual assault at a North Carolina University.   That place of higher education,  has recorded yet another case of REPORTED sexual assault AND it was at a school atop of reported events!

The ‘body of work’,   both rhetorical and actual,  perpetuate misogyny.   And then the sentences are a joke.  The latest perp, is an athlete.   I know,  I know,  who’d have expected that, right?

And this,  coming upon the heals of two major stories at Vanderbilt and Stanford respectively..    The Vanderbilt case,  is especially heinous,  as it IS a hate crime.  And after the raping,  he asserted to the victim,  that slavery is an alibi, 400 years of slavery that is.

It gets worse.   He then urinated upon the co-ed. With these extenuating circumstances,  he gets 15 years!   It seemed as this judge was more concerned, with the rapist’s prospects after release than the horror and degradation of the poor victim.  And you know that he will get leeway and an early termination of incarceration!

His name,   by the way.  Cory Baty.  The Judge:   Monte Watkins..   Be sure to comment or send an email to that Judge.  (POS).

Case Two:   A miserable POS (http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/06/us/sexual-assault-brock-turner-stanford/)

Listen to the account of the Victim!   This is heart-breaking!

Stanford rape survivor’s letter to her attacker 03:56

(CNN)Widespread outrage has erupted over a California judge’s decision to give a former Stanford University swimmer a six-month jail sentence for sexually assaulting an unconscious woman. Critics are blasting the decision as far too lenient.

I will let you listen to her story.  I am shaking mad,  even still.   Sad to be male and that I might make her fearful of me.   Even so,  it is important to internalize this!  six months to 90 days?!   Brock,  screw your dad and yourself!    And then ‘daddy pooh’ is all supportive! Screw him as well.   He stated that his son will be hurt for 20 minutes of bad behavior. Look at what your’ son did.    He can never repay that debt. Ever!!

But in a statement on Monday, Rosen stopped short of calling for Persky’s ouster.
“While I strongly disagree with the sentence that Judge Persky issued in the Brock Turner case, I do not believe he should be removed from his judgeship,” Rosen said. “I am so pleased that the victim’s powerful and true statements about the devastation of campus sexual assault are being heard across our nation. She has given voice to thousands of sexual assault survivors.”
CNN calls to Turner’s defense attorney, Mike Armstrong, were not returned Monday.

In another semi-related event.   This happened back a few years ago.   But injustice,  misogyny and ambivalence coalesce into a dirge of acrimony.  A woman who faced a trial,  re-raped in court,  and with a long comment by her,  that went unheeded.

As to the case, of a truant girl,  I sit here in apoplexy.   Make an example of an innocent girl.   But I will let you take this in.

 

So,  let me think,  Diane was being a good girl and yet had to face this, as a responsible young adult and under stress.     Ok, she got a respite with all those donations.

 

 

 

 

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The Rape Hologram

I watched a movie last night about 17-year-old Eun An. (Nam Bo-Ra).   I highly suggest that anyone who can view this 2012 film, (Don’t cry Mommy), please do! It a very heart-breaking story.    This movie is about more than one victim, it’s about a mom and  daughter’s happy life together,  being shattered irreconcilably.   Making matters,  worse,  is the sexism.    It is a narrative about responsibility and how jurisprudence and its own misogyny,   perpetuates the myths and the realities.     In the end, this it is not a blog meant to bash men,  but rather where to start,  in addressing education.

Don't_Cry,_Mommy-001

“Revolution is the negation of the existing, a violent protest against man’s inhumanity to man(mankind) with all the thousand and one slaveries it involves. It is the destroyer of dominant values upon which a complex system of injustice, oppression, and wrong has been built up by ignorance and brutality.”  Emma Goldman.

Yes,  but what are we going to do about it?  Laws are a means to an end.   Votes! What does this do, for victims?  The net  effect resolves nothing and they do not placate the victims which include, the family of those victims!

In this movie,  a mother seeks revenge.  Because the perps are allowed to go free and the main perp,  gets a couple months of probation.   Eun-Ah in the mean time is let down by the system,  let down by a culture of near silence by and the continuous ‘rape culture’.

To make matters worse, the girl was raped by these assholes, a second time.  With her own self-worth utterly destroyed,  she becomes even more disillusioned.    Now let’s put this into perspective,  a girl is raped, twice!   Her mother is outraged and the legal system suggests, to settle!  The mother throws down the money offered to her.  At that point,  the perp’s family accuses her daughter and her mother as being loose.

After a recent blog on RallyPoint,  one guy used the Duke LaCrosse team as an example of how men suffer too?  WTF?  Let’s break that down also.  I am sure the legal system let them down.   No!  We are not going to go there.  Compared to the millions of girls and women are who are sexually brutalised, an anecdotal inference to that,  is so sexist,  that is no wonder that this issue, propagates into a miasma of legalise.

“I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.”  ‘Jane Austen’.

As a solution,  neither more laws with no justice or settling out of court will cause the rapist to abstain or ,the mother’s sadness to be any less sad.

The solutions are many,  but it will take more than rhetoric and blaming the victim or more laws.  It will require consideration of how the woman feels and judges adjudicate cases against perps.  It will require education and one that is not an attack on all ,males but , listening to mothers, girlfriends and wives.

As an aside,  a friend in Germany of mine was raped.   She asked to hear story about keeping the baby.   I told her that my NOT place to tell her what to do.   Her response humbled me  because she told me that I was that I am the first to not suggest,  but listen.  She was crying!

The name of the game  is being supporting.  It is not about me,  but to advocate meaningful change, which includes,  like the movie, remedies and compassion for victims everywhere.

This show made me cry,  and not feel bad about crying!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A fish downstream.

Remember, a dead fish can flow downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W.C.  Fields

The War of the Worlds inside my mind.    Anxiety and Depression on one side,  Seizures and Epilepsy, on the other.  Like a nation,  in the midst of battle, participants languish there,  while politicians ponder the narratives.

An excuse to gloss over the  acts of war.    Inside my brain,  little battles rapidly coalesce .  The net effect being like a lost street, now overgrown.  Confusion,  malaise and the lost synapses, brooding in contempt for each other.

 

Between anti-convulsants and pills for depression,  my anxiety,  like a bastard knife ,  penetrates my thoughts. The anxiety causes depression and I float along, until a seizure or the waves of confusion awaken to the thrust of reality,   into the middle of a battle. A place, I cannot identify.

Stars are no good,  for navigation.  They mix like a cup of Alphabet soap.  In there somewhere, I am. Groggily picking my way.  Upstream or down,  I cannot tell.   On this planet,    I dwell wearily.

Larry, 19–

She Fell in Love. Can’t be help responsible!

Back in 1974,  I was a kid,   only 18 years and probably was witness in some way to a date rape.   It sure felt like it because as I was leaving out the dorm that night,  guys were pulling a train on a teen girl and some guy asked me if I wanted to have ‘some.’   I said, “no.”   And besides,  the choice of words haunts me too as well as the whimpering that went along with her disorientation.

I was so naive but a part of my soul has been tortured to this very day.   If I knew then what I know now,   I might have gone postal because I cannot imagine a crime worse than that.     You see,   she was drunk and whimpering.   Damnit.   That really pisses me off.  No girl asks for ‘it.’   Not for that.

 

But date rape characterizations are nothing new and for the longest time just generally accepted.   In the movie ‘Animal House’  the guy was contemplating having sex with a passed out underage girl.    Did she ask for it?  NO! Does it happen?   Hell ya!   Is it any wonder so many women want to spread the pain around.

Going a few years into my adult life,   I had a girl friend and she was given a roofie.    The net effect according to her,  was she never felt the same about anything!    Date-raped by her boss at the mall.   She and I went through hell afterwards and my anger @ jerkoffs intensifies.    My girlfriend was only pieces of ceramic,   like Humpty-Dumpty,  those pieces can’t always be fixed.

I suffer too,  knowing that seedy men with seditious desires lay in wait,   like Jack The Ripper or the Boston Strangler.   In these instances the pain is far worse than death.    It is a slow blood-letting of one’s spirit and sense of control.    We had great times and every once in awhile we would talk.

From her bosses abuse of her,  of us really,   she went on a self-destructive binge with an older guy who was a criminal.   Arrested for a crack ball and spending time in prison,   he seemed to like finding young victims.   Her sister said he liked to read magazines like ‘Barely Legal’ and ’18’.      Yeah one of those!    One day her sister gave me a journal she had written and she had talked to her sister about the parasite she was with and how she missed me and my steady decisions and what would I do in a particular situation.   She said I am the guy that returns the shopping cart.    For awhile I was miffed by that but then got the gist of what she was trying to express.     She also got a disease from this miscreant,   Herpes!

(She fell in love in the first place)))

For some reason these words tick me off.    An otherwise innocent girl and not perfect by any  means,   paid the price for both of you and you both should be ashamed.     And I harbor guilt for not being able to protect her from the smarmy underbelly of the beast that lurks with a touch of wind and a wiff of illicit drugs.

If her mom had not been a prostitute and subjected her to so much,   she might have been able to cry on her shoulders.    She could have  told her Mom what he said and did  and your Mom would turn away.   Flushed with anger and disappointment,  words she heard once upon a time. Now reverberating like a song that plays over and over on a music box.   The ballerina fell suddenly and her porcelain dreams laid like a million shards of what ifs.

So let’s examine some of the dubious comments made by men and boys and mostly they are one and the same.     Your high school heroes and high society icons flickered as capriciously as the stories of high school football players and date rapes.   The bottom-line being the reputation of the boys and a girl who was allegedly asking for it.    She was collateral damage in the game of cat and mouse.

He gave you wine or drugs and told you it was okay.    He promised you everything to dance in the sheets and tomorrow he denies that he even knew you or the things you said,  you couldn’t have meant,  if you did say them….

Their friends and influences probably had mixed emotions about the destruction,   from the boss to the drug abusing narcissist whose real romance is a synthetic cesspool of misery.   Both now share in a common malady with excuses and no care for the damage they were doing.

What once was a fairy tale happiness transmogrified into a hellish world of missed chances.   Where lightning does strike over and over again(in the same place) and the pain still flows,  if even now to more or less a trickle.     In the video above  Boy Meets Girl they dance and sing with a love that we all want and yet finally,  even they play a requiem to a love gone strange.     To me,   as I worked in the media in Tampa,   the song was a fresh time.   A promise.   Together with Paula Abdul’s ‘Straight up’,  it seemed life had spectacular promise,  even after a lost preemie and the mother who ran off for a decade and a half with our daughter.

But life has second chances even if those chances require some modifications to retrofit them to make them work.    I do remember what my daughter said about her 16th birthday and how much she loved me.   That that was her best birthday ever.   This after being lost to me from her early post natal days to about fifteen years later.    Still,   I would NOT change things too much because what if we never rediscovered that and that is why the blog about ‘Ten Years a Single Mother’  and her kids love for her touches my heart.   Kids get the connections and their love is pure if they are loved.

The theme of this entire post is what are we going to do.    Rather than just complain about the pain,  how can we fix a thing?   You,   I and many others have lived on both sides of the track and nothing……  nothing gets fixed by complaining.    We need to put people first because a warm place and a hot dinner matters.

To the abuse of women,  children and the vulnerable,   you and I can change the world.    I have a few things going now.    One is to get Emotional Support Animals and Service Pets for people who need them.    Let’s teach men and society in general how to treat a lady and your kids.    We need to focus on identifying potential abuse and treat the family not a case number but take care of it as a village.  With compassion.    No tolerance policies does not heal a family.    Making rules is what politicians do.   Why do we punish people like Aileen Wuornos the way we do?   Why not find out where at-risk people are and help?   That gives us all a better chance of surviving the obstacles in life.

From murderers to offenders of all kinds,   punishment is the easy part,   preventing tragedies can happen and should happen.    That takes  more than a Breathalyzer and seeing if you can walk a straight line.    How much better will this world be with solutions and not grandstanding politicians and other nabobs using the moment for  personal gain.

Education is the key to everything.   Not just laws but helping people be better people.    Not projecting how good we are,  but how good we can all be,  if we just try.   Ghettos are going nowhere and neither are the homeless,  the drug users and other kinds of abusers.   Let’s get this done and stop maligning others.    The old speck and the log thing.

 

 

Cops and Gumdrops – Stars and Stripes

What a trifling minion of gadflies,   They flash a badge bark an order and expect respect.    Sheriff Andy Taylor and fellow crime fighter, Barney?   Oh,  I wish.   Now Barney is Robocop with a stun gun and a can of mace.   If the cameras are not rolling or have been confiscated and disposed of,  the evidence flitters away like October leaves cascading down their erstwhile perches.

This were images and the sense of the times.   Far be it for most cops to even act condescendingly towards a ‘suspect’.  You know that little known and respected caveat named ‘rights’ and ‘respect’.  What happened?   Have the Veteran’s respect by common people stole a bit of their glory?

Remember that picture when you body slam and 88 year old man who fought for pansy-assed self.   You act like Barney with malice.  You screw with adults aged 18-20 and you know better.    Probably some sexual arousal with you toy around with people (young adults) have been labeled as kids because now they are your kids and you cannot reconcile your own mortality,  so you pin suspects with your knee to their skull and they die.    And of course with have damage control and outright lies being perpetrated on unsuspecting people and why?   Do you have a set of handcuffs attached to a wall placard?   Do you need to terrorize,  never-mind the damage you do. Huh?

Come now,  any of you apologists justify it?   Cops need to say;   “Sir,  will you please sit?  84 and 95 years old and this is not too mention the abuse of blacks in their community because not all are gang bangers!

Cops need Personal Reliability Assessments and a lawyer and a media type following around and acting as a mediator to prevent this kind of abuse.     It is really heartbreaking that more and more people distrust cop and it takes just incident like these or bashing the girl into a cement bench in a cop station or strip searching a female without cause by  MEN And Women!!!

If  you don’t believe,  check out Youtube where officers ruin lives because they can.

 

One veteran died at the hands of an officer,  another innocent man shot in bed 16 times.   Cops need to lose this hate and start being respectful.  Or this nation is in big trouble.

 

 

Is it any wonder why people are getting upset.   They pick on the weak,  the elderly and girls.    They should have the 14 year old go.   They have options but they use excessive force.

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=one+tin+solider&FORM=VIRE3#view=detail&mid=D05A6C817D8C1DA261EED05A6C817D8C1DA261EE

 

So all you dicks who hurt innocent people pox on you.   If your families were treated this way you would have hate for those individuals..

 

 

Mediating Reality and Politics.

One of the more frustrating aspects of dealing with people is that they read a book on let’s say, ‘Physics’.   They read just enough to have an opinion and then can’t be bothered.   In essence, that becomes their politics.   They fancy their notions but do not engage with them.

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.

Science itself is still in it’s veritable infancy.  The things we will know later will dwarf us in the here and now.   And the climate change debate will crystalize.    Not an answer driven by political correctness but we will have done ‘real due-diligence’.   Not throwing talking points as real science.

People want everything gift-wrapped into tight little packages that are easy to explain but when you get beneath the dogma, there is nothing but that dogma.   Logically then or rather illogically they go back to their default position as with the topic of ‘Climate Change’.    They refer back to the experts,  whatever that might be.   Many of these same people then refer to the religious as deferring to fairy tales.

Stephen Hawking has the Higgs-Boson to fall back on and considering the fact that he has beaten the odds,  doesn’t see the irony.  As if the fact that my friend died after a year after he was diagnosed.   He too,  had ALS.    The difference being that he was a professing Christian while the former must imagine some last minute intervention or like many unbelievers that his mass will not destroyed.  I  guess.

If I left the world being the most dissipated man of all time,  and did not feel the slightest compunction at being a  jerk,  then maybe I too could go on without asking the biggest question…..why?  Why in my honest evaluation of myself,  I could not even hint at being some kind of saint or above it all.

So maybe we fancy ourselves to be many things.   Perhaps an Opera Star, a Poet or maybe we were born to be a leaf.  One that has fallen during Autumn who is slated for a burn barrel of the compost pile.   We are even less than the worst of miscreants,  who we should assume ourselves to be.   This is not self-flagellation but simple perspective.   The nascent rise of real science can upset a lot of realities.   But is that Immutable Perfect Being really interested in “our take”?    And would it necessarily disprove anything of the nature of God?

This diagram shows changes in the rate of expansion since the Big Bang. The shallower the curve, the faster the expansion rate. There's a notable change in the curve around 7.5 billion years ago, when astronomers think a mysterious, dark force caused objects to fly apart at a faster rate. NASA/STSci/Ann Feild

At that point,  were we even cognizant of our plight relative to people,  what then?

 

Life is more than elaborate set of rules but the worst part of that is maybe no one really cares who good you think you are,  much less than a sentient being of unimaginable power.  The fact that such a being would ever even care is worthy of our consideration.

Ultimately God makes his choice and is the only choice ever truly made by anyone or anything.  God is not like us,  he would be in all ways better and once we get that if we were a plot of clay,  he could dash that hardened clay against the wall and it would be fair.


That we are sentient, ought to reveal something very important about us and even more about God.   In the final analysis God is so fair,  that he would consider all of our arguments and is the perfect parent because unlike us,  he is truly impartial.  Those conferred with greater gifts now,  are not among the elite in heaven, but those with a humble heart,  who imagines humbly to be so unworthy of him.

Conversely we are antithesis of modesty and our self-aggrandizement is really evident we get so mired into those shows like ‘American Idol’ and that is just one program that intimates that someone is going to find us and see how wonderful we are.    Afterall everyone has some measure of greatness.   Really?  How about those who just CANNOT sing or act or paint a picture?

There has to be a special for them!   And why again?  This kind of mentality is part of the infantilism of the world today.  A 20 year old woman (many called her a girl) remonstrated that her life was miserable because her parents embarrassed her when she was 10.   The crime?   Her parents made her a Halloween costume and that poor girl was traumatized.  Yeah I bet a lot of people would love to trade places.

That person who you and I shrugged off.   That person we may have done charity for with an air of insolent disregard,  perhaps imagining that we are better and he or she is there by choice.   But as I see it, we can be that little boy or girl,  combing through sewage and refuse hoping to eat that.   Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs at play here my friends.

 

Not dogmas,  not same-sex marriage or even that man/woman arrangement.   Today we confer some kind of special birthright based on sexual proclivity,  racial orientation or our beliefs in some obscure frog or farflung religion.

 

It is one thing to rebel against injustice because there is some intrinsic value in that.   However,  a lot of this is just rhetoric.

Pay a dime to a cause and sleep well at night.   Is that going to be our legacy?  Do we ‘really’  lose sleep over all this terrible stuff in the world?

 

We more than most rich people get it.   We are more likely to suffer more substantially than billionaires and because of that we can more relate to the hurting.  But our answer basically mirrors the tax write-offs of the uber rich.   So maybe we are not so swell afterall.

The good message and point here is that someone does care but to know him we have to set aside all presumption.   We have to look at ourselves being the one hurting and really understand our own inherent leanings towards wrong.   I am NOT exempting myself from this either.   We all must do apart from hyperbole and most of all,  do it not for accolades or some measure of self-satisfaction.   Let the words silently minister to the hurting.

 

 

There is one thing that I want to do today and that is to ask those who hear to respond.   You will know question to that answer and you will find harmony and perfection.

 

 

 

 

 

The Knocking and our missteps.

Falling Short

When want people to see us, we want them to see us, at our best.    But who is really ‘good’? And problems?  Everyone has those too.  Our goodness is relative anyway and goodness does not assure us of a totally happy existence.  And besides,  what do we really  know about each other?

Have you heard about the person who ALWAYS speaks his or her mind?   Usually they have very few friends and acquaintances who trust them.    And why do we tell people secrets,  as if we already knew they wouldn’t keep them?   Do we really enjoy the excitement of drama that is against us?

And how many times have we presumed to know what would be just a hypothetical?  That we would do such and such and say it always ‘them’?   The truth is,  we are all deceptive to one degree or another and this includes an inherent total depravity.   None of us wants to hear of our own weaknesses and dare I say it,  potential for evil?

Let’s face it,  we do at one point or another covet,  whether it is a person, a place or a thing.  That idyllic little something that would bring clarity and fulfillment and we would also do anything to get it?   I am no better and probably worse.   Though it is probably something that no one knows about.   Maybe some kinky sexual fantasy or an sudden impulse to break something.

It is also hard to accept that God may not want us.   He may simply pass us by and our relative goodness and our accumulated wealth would be for naught.  I believe at the very least we can have some perspective about us and others,  not assuming that our ‘goodness’ was not something intrinsic in us and that make our forever more agreeable.

The only intrinsic beauty is God.  A God who knows himself,  yet at the same time loves us.  He loves who he loves and who he doesn’t for whatever reasons is the way it is.  I am not being cavalier or judging your relative goodness or badness,  except to say,  we should practice good with God’s grace.

My cousin died at 22.  He was a very good man and it seems a shame.  But my opinion could never save him, due to an intrinsic flaw in all of us.   Look at story of the kids on an island.   At first life was harmonious but then human nature began to shape as it really is.   All I can say is be good and be humble and contrite.    And I am not saying be sad and that you cannot be happy most of the time,  but take it from me,  I am okay yet just as corrupt as anyone else, give or take.

Mark Twain