The Knocking and our missteps.

Falling Short

When want people to see us, we want them to see us, at our best.    But who is really ‘good’? And problems?  Everyone has those too.  Our goodness is relative anyway and goodness does not assure us of a totally happy existence.  And besides,  what do we really  know about each other?

Have you heard about the person who ALWAYS speaks his or her mind?   Usually they have very few friends and acquaintances who trust them.    And why do we tell people secrets,  as if we already knew they wouldn’t keep them?   Do we really enjoy the excitement of drama that is against us?

And how many times have we presumed to know what would be just a hypothetical?  That we would do such and such and say it always ‘them’?   The truth is,  we are all deceptive to one degree or another and this includes an inherent total depravity.   None of us wants to hear of our own weaknesses and dare I say it,  potential for evil?

Let’s face it,  we do at one point or another covet,  whether it is a person, a place or a thing.  That idyllic little something that would bring clarity and fulfillment and we would also do anything to get it?   I am no better and probably worse.   Though it is probably something that no one knows about.   Maybe some kinky sexual fantasy or an sudden impulse to break something.

It is also hard to accept that God may not want us.   He may simply pass us by and our relative goodness and our accumulated wealth would be for naught.  I believe at the very least we can have some perspective about us and others,  not assuming that our ‘goodness’ was not something intrinsic in us and that make our forever more agreeable.

The only intrinsic beauty is God.  A God who knows himself,  yet at the same time loves us.  He loves who he loves and who he doesn’t for whatever reasons is the way it is.  I am not being cavalier or judging your relative goodness or badness,  except to say,  we should practice good with God’s grace.

My cousin died at 22.  He was a very good man and it seems a shame.  But my opinion could never save him, due to an intrinsic flaw in all of us.   Look at story of the kids on an island.   At first life was harmonious but then human nature began to shape as it really is.   All I can say is be good and be humble and contrite.    And I am not saying be sad and that you cannot be happy most of the time,  but take it from me,  I am okay yet just as corrupt as anyone else, give or take.

Mark Twain

Gate Keepers

Gate Keepers

As we know more about a lot, we master nothing.    We toil and strive and then concede,  ultimately wallowing in the muck and mire of our own personal experiences.   We assume we are patently original,  suspiciously aware of our hypocrisy.    We claim we never lie and if we do then we do.

Sometimes in our youth,  we wish to cheat death or get as close as we can to that.  Impressing others of our bravado and recounting our glory years.    Like the song, ‘Those Were the Days My friend,   we thought they’d never end,   we sing and dance forever and a day.   We live the life we choose,  we fight and never lose,  those were the days,  oh yes, those were the days.’

There was a time in our life, when we romanticized love,  as if we were Romeo and Juliet,  or we might be Bonnie and Clyde.   We would make love as no one else could.   Like a Muse in a Xanadu,  we find our own reality,  as we move gracefully together.

But then something happened.  The Yellow brick road began to crumble and the house landed upon our love.   With a resounding thump and a crash of dishes,  our dreams faded like a late show re-run.

Those songs that inspired us,  were now a requiem,  sad and haunting.   Soon bitterness impaled our hearts and they become like stone.    And instead of skipping flat stones across a florid lake.

Florid Lake

So maybe we find a church ,   with a choir and we sing staid old songs,  as lifeless as a still-born dream.  We are reverent and judging,  but we judge others for their specks,  while redwoods roam in our eyes.

We can’t wait to leave and try to depart as soon as we can and we claim a god of opportunity to an end with no life,  like that old abandoned church.

We hear a knock from above,  wistful vapors of the unseen but our spirit consists of seeing images in an office building and tying meaning to a ship that never comes back.

It need not end this way.   In spite of unrequited love snatching us too early.  the knocks push upon us harder and the message is clear and unwavering.  Though all around are the indignant,  honest, godly church going people who flick ashes upon others.

We cannot find what we assumed was there until our hearts melt for the needs of forgiveness of our own missteps.   The harrowing nightmares we perpetrated on others,   while claiming some kind of victim-hood.

When we realize that we are there,  we will know we have arrived.   Our pretentions are like tumbleweeds drifting on a dusty road.   Yet in that abyss of faith,   we find ourselves trembling but more free.

Remember good is never good enough and if it will be,  it definitely be.  with no further side-slips on that precarious path.


Why do liberals think they know it all?

Okay before we get started here children let me clarify a few things.    I am liberal in the sense that people come first.   If this means Unemployment Insurance,  food stamps and a reform to our judicial system in regards to imprisonment make me a RHINO than so be it.   But to be honest with you my friends I do not believe in Mickey Mouse.    Mickey speaks the Queen’s English.   Mickey says and does what is he feels will please the Queen.

Let me be frank,  I know for example that John Cena and the rest of the steroid bunch are essentially actors.    I give John a break since he does do a lot in the community and there is a possibility he might not do steroids.    But I always root for the bad guys.   The dopey idol acolytes actually believe most of it,  though they say they don’t.

Now we can include politics in this.  I believe in my fellow man and trust me,  I do know what suffering is about.   I do know what it feels to be in line awaiting a free meal.   I know what it is like to see a veteran shamed for being there.    As a veteran myself I wanted to beat down that Durham Police Officer for acting like a man,  looking like a man and putting down another Veteran because he was standing in the middle of the aisle.   Her countenance was total bullshit.   I hope she runs this scam against a hostile thug who gets her.

Any person can be poor and it is sad that they think they actually deserved to be rich or otherwise privilege.  They would be the first to say they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps.   They teach those wannabe veterans that they inherently superior to even the most decadent drug user.   The only difference is this they have police colors in lieu of jailhouse orange jumpsuits.

What???   She don’t look like a crackhead to me!   And who really does, right?  So maybe this superstar baseball player can be one of those unwashed miscreants?  Oh yeah they are not as good as you are,  really?     Dwight ‘Doc’ Gooden  shown below.   Are you better than he is?  NO!!!   You just think you are.

I watch these shows on Cops,  Jail.  etc and I applaud when the police version of the crackhead goes rogue.    It could be them and then it is.   What ever happened to protect and serve?  The LEO should be saying,   yes sir and no sir,  until the client is actually impeding justice and this doesn’t include soccer moms who ran a red light.    This is why these so-called LEOs are put into protective custody.    FYI,  Most there to protect and serve and for those who abuse we will judge you more harshly  if you put your need to someone’s head.   A person who is already down.   Do you do that to your wives?

I am a Vietnam-era.   You non-vet police officers have nothing on me.   You can take down a 95 lb housewife but I am going to put you in your place.   You may put me in my place at the time but I will make sure that Corcoran will be your future.    Check your  packages gentlemen.

Now those of you who bust good officers chops,   you get what you deserve and if you hurt an LEO you are fair game.      You hurt an innocent and all bets are off.    Donating 5 dollars to some Sheriff’s Association,  does not give you a pass?   Are we clear.  I am sure Wally cheating at shuffleboard is important to you but it is not to me and it certainly not to an LEO with a family to feed.  He is one of us in that case.

Now for you liberals.   Many of you are panty-waste.   You are the ones who got kicked out of basic and think you are veteran.   You’re not.   Even pond scum have a higher place in the food chain.   For any of you that abuse a woman or child just shut up.

But rubbing two nickels together and throw them into a wishing well does not make you a community activist.    Like the blacks in Chicago that excoriated this administration the real proof is in outcomes.  And gang-members screw yourself because your holding us all back.   White,  black,  Asian and Spanish-speaking.

I am picking on liberals here because many only pay lipservice.   They elect based on skin color and then deny toxic leaders that take your more basic freedoms away.  I’ve said this before and I will say it again.   We are equal in God’s sight no matter who you pay homage to.

I am not going to let white, blacks,  latin-speaking or Asians get a pass, if you are an ass you are an ass and I will tell you so.