The Monsters Among us.

GADChild

The sudden storm blew in.   The tumbleweeds rushed by and the howl of the wind pushed them like unwanted stepchildren.    I was one of those unfortunate souls,  who prayed for darkness and heavy rain.  The gloom seemed to cheer me up,  the low clouds compacted the world and the heavy snows further reduced the shrapnel of ugly words and harsher correction.

Even better was the icy and snowy weather that kept the devil at bay.    The whiteness like a signet made it official and angry ice cycles crashed from atop the roof of our house.   At night I would sleep walk,  perhaps to walk into the road or fall upon the broken glass.  One night in my dream state I decided the camper window should be a punching bag.   The echoes of anger that permeated my realm.

In my heart I cheered the removal of my anxiety.   The sound of the engine and in it’s wake a measure of relief.    On one occasion we had two cats.   For some reason that one day would harbor a death penalty for one of our cats.   With seventeen acres of land,  my father determined that one should die.

My brother took at him and with a thud,  my heart filled with pity,  anger and disillusionment.  Unbearable voices led me to the scene and the grave of soft ash an ethereal tomb.   Suddenly the Raven appeared and that poor cat with blood on it’s side to my astonishment that poor gray cat seemed to be begging,  hoping for some kind of reprieve and a tear or many fell.    My brother finished the task and that thought and an attempted or threatened murder of my mom at five,  congealed into an unholy miasma of doubt and uncertainty.

Like the gales of a winter,   this inclement weather was a well-timed respite.  Revenge against the Tsunami that always lain in wait.   A patient wraith with a two-edged bite and like a small warrior I tried to turn away that wrath,  especially for a mother whose esteem in our eyes was stunted.

TS1TS2

Maybe the rain was a song of sadness reaching out for love,  surely such wrath would pass but never did.  As I grew up the mixed messages closed in around me.    I made my peace with that person I called dad and seeing his own tragedy I gained perspective about him.   Unable to justify he reached out.  Forgiveness?  Without a doubt and an unlocked toolshed seemed so unimportant now.

I did not glory in his sickness but I did look back and realized the good that was hidden from plain sight.   No one can justify abuse but a humble heart finds a way.  Gasping for breath all I could do is hold his hand.   This warrior who too late for himself never really enjoyed the fruits of his ambition until the very end.

He and my sister found a common ground and her fear was not being able to be loved by him.   In all that,  that is my special moment with Dad.   The cold aloofness and rage was dulled by the medication and softness of a pillow.     As he drew his last breath,   I felt release in him,  the devils vanished in a bright light and the shadows cowered.

The lesson is never give up.   As  bad as life can be,  we can survive.  I survived a certain hell which has led to my OCDs and fear of random violence.   I have several panic attacks every day but I am learning to get well and move on.   One rung at a time.

Wooden Monuments.

 

 

 

babel_fullMountain

 

 

I am building a tower and it will be built upon by the hands of time.    It will be finessed and  the etchings carved into marbleized histories,  remnants left for consideration.   A bored scholar will scribe his articulations on paper and artists upon the heart  sometimes with words and other times shades of different colors.

H110--56722-Hieroglyphics

 

Our passions darken as our own freedom gives us license.   To establish who we are and why we should matter.

Quotation-George-Bernard-Shaw-living-life-death-long-satisfaction-reason-dreams-Meetville-Quotes-51930Daddy

 

The dimming lights provide sanctuary  for secrets held within,  while the new trees bear the same old fruit.   Replacing antiquity with green limbs envious.    Accounts will be altered,  values distorted like a warped window or a cracked mirror.    Only tiny shards indiscernible will collect dust.   The hammering thoughts of preservation are to no avail.  The ebb and flow of matter reconstitutes itself.    Aware of nothing but it’s new place,  neither the checkered foster homes of neglected souls or the random insects in their constabularies.    New kings and queens arise,  like heaving opportunists secure in that moment only.

antinter_mirror

Willingness gives way to wood,  brick and dust and from these new houses are made.   New conflicts arise and the sentient drama of conflicting self wills lay about and scattered by Zephyrs and Foehn.    Tears drip from random placements like lost toys of our youth,  neither material or a ether  just an unnoticed stroke of a pen and a purchase.

The final revolution spins to a stop and the cul-de-sac of expectancy gives way to a somber recollection.   Momentary gratitude and an appointment looming,  breaks the shadow of what once was and will never be again.

wheellpassing

 

Never Ending Story – We can all make a difference.. now.

aa4atreeless-mountain-indie-movie (2)

war childwar child 4

War child 2War child 3

NukeitDay After

   Bob Dylan – Rainy
Well, they’ll stone when you’re try to be good
They’ll stone ya just a-like they said they would
They’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to go home
Then they’ll stone ya when you’re there all alone
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.Well, they’ll stone ya when you’re walkin’ ‘long the street
They’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to keep your seat
They’ll stone ya when you’re walkin’ on the floor
They’ll stone ya when you’re walkin’ to the door
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.

They’ll stone ya when you’re at the breakfast table
They’ll stone ya when you are young and able
They’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to make a buck
They’ll stone ya and then they’ll say “good luck”
Tell ya what, I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.

Well, They’ll stone you and say that it’s the end
Then they’ll stone you and then they’ll come back again
They’ll stone you when you’re riding in your car
They’ll stone you when you’re playing your guitar
Yes, but I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.

Well, they’ll stone you when you walk all alone
They’ll stone you when you are walking home
They’ll stone you and then say you are brave
They’ll stone you when you are set down in your grave
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get stoned.

magic busJanisJ
Hippie chickwoodstock-poster-warners-1At_Woodstock_(vhs)
We’ve got
Police Brutality- Murder in the Streets
Right vs Left
Political thieves – Ali Baba
Crips/Bloods
Oultaws/Angels
Sharpton/Westboro
Kennedy/Reagan
Bush/Clinton
ACORN/KKK
Tea Party/Black Panthers
Rap/Death Metal
Fire/Rain
Blood and Steel
You can’t be real.
Lots of talk/no action
Food Kitchens/Billionaires
Heinz/Koch Bros
Getting rich,
No wonder Life’s a bitch.
Black,  white
Asian and Cree
Political Correctness
D AND R.
Cern-accelerator-complex.svgCERN
CERN 2Michio Kaku 2Michio KakuMark TwainAlbert_Einstein_Head1

We are in this together and the politicians and representatives represent and stop playing the race card because we are people and that is it.      We have the future to consider and changes that are not political as much as pragmatic that will benefit us all.     You see people excluding others in the name of a cause, whether it is abortion, guns, abuse, race,  etc and we need to act now.   Volunteer,  help and make the world a better place and forget slogans.  Do this!

Meet Mr. Daddy 2007

shiny-daymeet-mr-daddy-shiny-day-movie-review3

Last night as I was perusing Hulu Plus,   when I happened across the Korean movie,  ‘Meet Mr. Daddy’.    In this movie’  Joon’ is a sickly child who wants to be with her daddy,   who happens to be a small-time  petty criminal who gets in over his head with unscrupulous gangster boss.   The dad who got arrested by the police was given an option of being a father with a stipend in lieu of incarceration.

The dubious dad thus picks up the guantlet with litte intention of really doing the right thing.    However the charms of a young girl and their need of a dad certainly can work magic and this movie did.

In a roller coaster ride of highs and lows,  little Miss Seo Shin Ae (joon)  manages to change the heart of a down and out miscreant who learns what love is and utlimately becomes a dad to this sweet baby.    She was around seven years old and sick however she shares something with her because they both like soccer and she predicts a Korean win.

Rather than say too much,   I just to say how this obviously simple plot surprised with little Joon providing a few laughs and a dogged determination to find happiness.   With all the rancor of Adrian Peterson and his young son,   I am perplexed by the simple-minded hate directed at this father who went too far.   However just as in this movie,  life is about second chances.

meet-mr-daddy-shiny-day-movie-review2

The greatest judge of us will be our kids and since I lost one kid just after birth and another was missing for fifteen years,   I get angry with outsiders who cannot seem to understand that is NOT about the reader of these news events but the victims all the way around.    This movie highlights the need for embracing life while we still have it.

Finally,  this movie kind of snookers you into a sense of bland drama with a dynamic conclusion and why girls need a loving and doting father.   The exchange of blessings is a private matter between imperfect parents and affectionate little ones.

This movie is a must-see.   So let us cast off the pride that immediately wants to destroy people’s lives and work on your own relationships and see what kids can see and parents can learn.    It is not too late!!

Ray Rice had a very bad moment! But so have you! Some things never change.

“I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.”
William F. Buckley Jr.

So now we have yet another controversy (Ray Rice) because men and women alike to ply controversy as along as it does not indict them or their perceptions about themselves.    A trio of cases has made the news and those ready to capitalize on them,  will.  (Ray Rice,  Adrian Peterson and Ferguson)   But like any person who benefits from these kind of cases are not about solutions.   These kinds want to feeled vindicated over something that has no relevance to their own lives.

They are just lazy haters with no plan.   The longer this goes on the less time there is to judge their own missteps and that includes me.    They have a belly full of self-righteous indignation and no one to blame.  Except for the vulnerable who they CLAIM to care about.

Those who wish to bash Janay Rice taking her longer view of this situation,  I want to slap!   Sure Ray Rice has done the unthinkable and their indeed needs to be consequences.   But the most strident critics are those with things to hide or some other agenda.     Or you have the guys who like to present a virtual dialogue,  accusing others of racism, sexism,  misogyny or whatever their minds decide.

These decisions are born of haste,  arrogance and the unfetter cacophony of a lynch mob.    Like the Salem Witch-hunts come in various arrays,  finding some niche in which a person can ruin another.   It is that simple.   People do because they can.  Just like those dysfunctional sex bombs on Jerry Springer.    What is most fascinating about that ‘trainwreck’ is how old flash me some boobs Springer is like a prurient slinky in Chinatown offering some sage advice to people who wantonly exploit each other.

Then are the raucous and indecorous sniggles at a woman objectifying herself by showing her boobs.    This diminishingly embarrassing behavior in encouraged.    Some of these very same people are cheering while teenagers are deemed sex offenders by showing their bodies to their friends and classmates who get an eyeful.    So who made you God?   You cannot even run your own life as the song so aptly put it.  Now, you wish to destroy Rice,  Peterson and Tiger Woods.   I can bet my life that some of you have done worse.

You talk about helping women?  You lie!  Aside trying to ruin the lives of the guilty the world has not changed one bit.    You are part of the problem as long as there is clamoring and no one is listening.  How else can anything ever get better?     Aside from the punitive actions and laws you offer no change in the patterns of abuse.

Hillary had one thing right,  that is literally does take a village to make things like bullying,  abuse and terrorism abate.   Not even a plan just demands of justice.   Taking on the victim like Ray’s wife and making it all about you!  You are complicit in bringing more pain to the world.   You have made the victim’s life harder whilst you munch on Doritos and beat your dog.   Yeah,  I know you did this!

or there is this!

Let’s take charge of our own and stop letting disinterested parties decide our fate and I mean us all.  We all go around not trying to effect change as practically as we can and bomb aspirin factories and tell everyone else how nice we are.   We are never as good or as bad as we want others to believe.

I have lied and have stolen things and have deceived and maybe they may or may not have been crimes but I do not go around giving everyone else a scarlet letter or accuse of them of being a witch,  child molester or a serial cheater of some kind.

It’s like the show (movie)  ‘Mean Girls’.  A revealing look at the innate nature of us all and even those who we thought were incapable of such things.

I like ‘House’.   Does that make me an abuser or a victim?    Does calling a peaceful church goer affect you?   And why do you think anyone owes YOU an apology?   Everybody hurts some times.

It is hard enough to make it in this life without lighting another fire and while we may not have this particular tragedy over our heads we can assure others than there are those who really do care.

Cops and Gumdrops – Stars and Stripes

What a trifling minion of gadflies,   They flash a badge bark an order and expect respect.    Sheriff Andy Taylor and fellow crime fighter, Barney?   Oh,  I wish.   Now Barney is Robocop with a stun gun and a can of mace.   If the cameras are not rolling or have been confiscated and disposed of,  the evidence flitters away like October leaves cascading down their erstwhile perches.

This were images and the sense of the times.   Far be it for most cops to even act condescendingly towards a ‘suspect’.  You know that little known and respected caveat named ‘rights’ and ‘respect’.  What happened?   Have the Veteran’s respect by common people stole a bit of their glory?

Remember that picture when you body slam and 88 year old man who fought for pansy-assed self.   You act like Barney with malice.  You screw with adults aged 18-20 and you know better.    Probably some sexual arousal with you toy around with people (young adults) have been labeled as kids because now they are your kids and you cannot reconcile your own mortality,  so you pin suspects with your knee to their skull and they die.    And of course with have damage control and outright lies being perpetrated on unsuspecting people and why?   Do you have a set of handcuffs attached to a wall placard?   Do you need to terrorize,  never-mind the damage you do. Huh?

Come now,  any of you apologists justify it?   Cops need to say;   “Sir,  will you please sit?  84 and 95 years old and this is not too mention the abuse of blacks in their community because not all are gang bangers!

Cops need Personal Reliability Assessments and a lawyer and a media type following around and acting as a mediator to prevent this kind of abuse.     It is really heartbreaking that more and more people distrust cop and it takes just incident like these or bashing the girl into a cement bench in a cop station or strip searching a female without cause by  MEN And Women!!!

If  you don’t believe,  check out Youtube where officers ruin lives because they can.

 

One veteran died at the hands of an officer,  another innocent man shot in bed 16 times.   Cops need to lose this hate and start being respectful.  Or this nation is in big trouble.

 

 

Is it any wonder why people are getting upset.   They pick on the weak,  the elderly and girls.    They should have the 14 year old go.   They have options but they use excessive force.

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=one+tin+solider&FORM=VIRE3#view=detail&mid=D05A6C817D8C1DA261EED05A6C817D8C1DA261EE

 

So all you dicks who hurt innocent people pox on you.   If your families were treated this way you would have hate for those individuals..

 

 

Tic Tac Dough – They’re tryin to Build a Prison

 

I went a System of a Down Concert a few years ago.    Their music is right in many ways and on many issues.    For example,  they had a song called,  The Prison Song!   Not only was the music and program awesome,  but the song became personal.

At the end of the event as people were exiting a few decided to climb over railings and beat the crowd out of the Sun Dome.   But one of the police/guards,  whatever they call them decided to say get down or they would be arrested!   These young people need not to be threatened but they were!

Being a renown smart-ass  I  shouted,  “They’re trying to build a prison!!!”.    Hails of laughter swept through the crowd as a response to the scene and to the police’s actions against the students.

 

 

I was watching the News and saw the many dirty conditions in Africa and the threat that poverty has become generational in so many places.     Africa, who lives there and do they have faces?  The easy answer is,  YES!

Now what happens to Gwyneth Paltrow when there is another crash in the stock market?  Like one day she will  be that actress who did not garner many fans and her natural beauty fades?   There is so much hunger and poverty in the world and yet she looks down on others?

Too many people in Hollywood find their best gucci shoes and sunglasses to mask the ugliness in their hearts.  Sad too,  because many people look up to that wandering cesspool of self-righteousness robots until they too become frail and then want to have someone to care. I would but then again only because she is in need.

Are we better than these,  Gwyneth?     Could you tell her that her children do matter?  Do they need to make 100,000 dollars per year and will cry over the graves of the starving,  sick and homeless victim of circumstances?

Go to work as a volunteer as a support group facilitator.    That nation also suffers this damnable Ebola breakout.    And the headline below:

Ebola cases appear in DR Congo; doctor given promising drug dies in Liberia

http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/25/world/africa/ebola-outbreak/

 

And these people tell us how it is?    And sports are no better!

And just so true.   I have a seizure disorder and I know how it feels to be a soup line,  sleeping in my car with a cat.    I know of two more veterans,  one who has terminal cancer and the other a 78 year old who car is full of “Stuff” and he goes to places where he can to get out of heat or cold,  such as the case may be.    I have an  entrepreneurial idea that I plan to share to those woe begotten cardboard box souls.

Cops showed him,   didn’t they?

Warring with virtual corpses in a mad dash to nowhere and regardless of petty crimes,  we acquiesce and even endorse their actions against the unfortunate.   There are people who have Asphasia,   tri-geminal neuralgia (tic douloulreux ).   Many are bi-polar,   poorly educated and not too cogent.   Cops know not enough to attend them properly but rather do what you see above.

Bill Maher: “This country is becoming a police state, it is very troubling to me”

 

 

Mississippi Moon/Feels Right

Our muses can be a backdrop to tragedy or romance or maybe both.   Like a land lost or perhaps never appreciated.    The neglected places evoke memories of a secret nightmare in a three-dimensionable world  both exclusive and shared with one or more.

The silhouettes like palm fronds on a channel quiet measuring the years by colors by the seasons and washing away wistful prayers, odes to antiquity.

Some prefer the lights, the confusion and the din but I want to live life not as part of an ant farm in some condemned city of rats and dirty hazes.

Ole Miss are making a comeback to relevance

 

 

Mediating Reality and Politics.

One of the more frustrating aspects of dealing with people is that they read a book on let’s say, ‘Physics’.   They read just enough to have an opinion and then can’t be bothered.   In essence, that becomes their politics.   They fancy their notions but do not engage with them.

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.

Science itself is still in it’s veritable infancy.  The things we will know later will dwarf us in the here and now.   And the climate change debate will crystalize.    Not an answer driven by political correctness but we will have done ‘real due-diligence’.   Not throwing talking points as real science.

People want everything gift-wrapped into tight little packages that are easy to explain but when you get beneath the dogma, there is nothing but that dogma.   Logically then or rather illogically they go back to their default position as with the topic of ‘Climate Change’.    They refer back to the experts,  whatever that might be.   Many of these same people then refer to the religious as deferring to fairy tales.

Stephen Hawking has the Higgs-Boson to fall back on and considering the fact that he has beaten the odds,  doesn’t see the irony.  As if the fact that my friend died after a year after he was diagnosed.   He too,  had ALS.    The difference being that he was a professing Christian while the former must imagine some last minute intervention or like many unbelievers that his mass will not destroyed.  I  guess.

If I left the world being the most dissipated man of all time,  and did not feel the slightest compunction at being a  jerk,  then maybe I too could go on without asking the biggest question…..why?  Why in my honest evaluation of myself,  I could not even hint at being some kind of saint or above it all.

So maybe we fancy ourselves to be many things.   Perhaps an Opera Star, a Poet or maybe we were born to be a leaf.  One that has fallen during Autumn who is slated for a burn barrel of the compost pile.   We are even less than the worst of miscreants,  who we should assume ourselves to be.   This is not self-flagellation but simple perspective.   The nascent rise of real science can upset a lot of realities.   But is that Immutable Perfect Being really interested in “our take”?    And would it necessarily disprove anything of the nature of God?

This diagram shows changes in the rate of expansion since the Big Bang. The shallower the curve, the faster the expansion rate. There's a notable change in the curve around 7.5 billion years ago, when astronomers think a mysterious, dark force caused objects to fly apart at a faster rate. NASA/STSci/Ann Feild

At that point,  were we even cognizant of our plight relative to people,  what then?

 

Life is more than elaborate set of rules but the worst part of that is maybe no one really cares who good you think you are,  much less than a sentient being of unimaginable power.  The fact that such a being would ever even care is worthy of our consideration.

Ultimately God makes his choice and is the only choice ever truly made by anyone or anything.  God is not like us,  he would be in all ways better and once we get that if we were a plot of clay,  he could dash that hardened clay against the wall and it would be fair.


That we are sentient, ought to reveal something very important about us and even more about God.   In the final analysis God is so fair,  that he would consider all of our arguments and is the perfect parent because unlike us,  he is truly impartial.  Those conferred with greater gifts now,  are not among the elite in heaven, but those with a humble heart,  who imagines humbly to be so unworthy of him.

Conversely we are antithesis of modesty and our self-aggrandizement is really evident we get so mired into those shows like ‘American Idol’ and that is just one program that intimates that someone is going to find us and see how wonderful we are.    Afterall everyone has some measure of greatness.   Really?  How about those who just CANNOT sing or act or paint a picture?

There has to be a special for them!   And why again?  This kind of mentality is part of the infantilism of the world today.  A 20 year old woman (many called her a girl) remonstrated that her life was miserable because her parents embarrassed her when she was 10.   The crime?   Her parents made her a Halloween costume and that poor girl was traumatized.  Yeah I bet a lot of people would love to trade places.

That person who you and I shrugged off.   That person we may have done charity for with an air of insolent disregard,  perhaps imagining that we are better and he or she is there by choice.   But as I see it, we can be that little boy or girl,  combing through sewage and refuse hoping to eat that.   Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs at play here my friends.

 

Not dogmas,  not same-sex marriage or even that man/woman arrangement.   Today we confer some kind of special birthright based on sexual proclivity,  racial orientation or our beliefs in some obscure frog or farflung religion.

 

It is one thing to rebel against injustice because there is some intrinsic value in that.   However,  a lot of this is just rhetoric.

Pay a dime to a cause and sleep well at night.   Is that going to be our legacy?  Do we ‘really’  lose sleep over all this terrible stuff in the world?

 

We more than most rich people get it.   We are more likely to suffer more substantially than billionaires and because of that we can more relate to the hurting.  But our answer basically mirrors the tax write-offs of the uber rich.   So maybe we are not so swell afterall.

The good message and point here is that someone does care but to know him we have to set aside all presumption.   We have to look at ourselves being the one hurting and really understand our own inherent leanings towards wrong.   I am NOT exempting myself from this either.   We all must do apart from hyperbole and most of all,  do it not for accolades or some measure of self-satisfaction.   Let the words silently minister to the hurting.

 

 

There is one thing that I want to do today and that is to ask those who hear to respond.   You will know question to that answer and you will find harmony and perfection.