I watched a movie last night about 17-year-old Eun An. (Nam Bo-Ra). I highly suggest that anyone who can view this 2012 film, (Don’t cry Mommy), please do! It a very heart-breaking story. This movie is about more than one victim, it’s about a mom and daughter’s happy life together, being shattered irreconcilably. Making matters, worse, is the sexism. It is a narrative about responsibility and how jurisprudence and its own misogyny, perpetuates the myths and the realities. In the end, this it is not a blog meant to bash men, but rather where to start, in addressing education.
“Revolution is the negation of the existing, a violent protest against man’s inhumanity to man(mankind) with all the thousand and one slaveries it involves. It is the destroyer of dominant values upon which a complex system of injustice, oppression, and wrong has been built up by ignorance and brutality.” Emma Goldman.
Yes, but what are we going to do about it? Laws are a means to an end. Votes! What does this do, for victims? The net effect resolves nothing and they do not placate the victims which include, the family of those victims!
In this movie, a mother seeks revenge. Because the perps are allowed to go free and the main perp, gets a couple months of probation. Eun-Ah in the mean time is let down by the system, let down by a culture of near silence by and the continuous ‘rape culture’.
To make matters worse, the girl was raped by these assholes, a second time. With her own self-worth utterly destroyed, she becomes even more disillusioned. Now let’s put this into perspective, a girl is raped, twice! Her mother is outraged and the legal system suggests, to settle! The mother throws down the money offered to her. At that point, the perp’s family accuses her daughter and her mother as being loose.
After a recent blog on RallyPoint, one guy used the Duke LaCrosse team as an example of how men suffer too? WTF? Let’s break that down also. I am sure the legal system let them down. No! We are not going to go there. Compared to the millions of girls and women are who are sexually brutalised, an anecdotal inference to that, is so sexist, that is no wonder that this issue, propagates into a miasma of legalise.
“I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman’s inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman’s fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.” ‘Jane Austen’.
As a solution, neither more laws with no justice or settling out of court will cause the rapist to abstain or ,the mother’s sadness to be any less sad.
The solutions are many, but it will take more than rhetoric and blaming the victim or more laws. It will require consideration of how the woman feels and judges adjudicate cases against perps. It will require education and one that is not an attack on all ,males but , listening to mothers, girlfriends and wives.
As an aside, a friend in Germany of mine was raped. She asked to hear story about keeping the baby. I told her that my NOT place to tell her what to do. Her response humbled me because she told me that I was that I am the first to not suggest, but listen. She was crying!
The name of the game is being supporting. It is not about me, but to advocate meaningful change, which includes, like the movie, remedies and compassion for victims everywhere.
This show made me cry, and not feel bad about crying!