Chances are…

If I had the chance to complain to my boss,  I would.    I would be beet red and my hair would sizzle.     After all,   I hate that noon whistle.   I would also tell him with unfettered zeal about my missing box lunch.   I tucked it away in the back of the fridge and it still disappeared.   I blame that big guy because his eyes are too close,   he drives an old Volkswagen Bus an listens to Tiny Tim.   He looks guilty and I am sure that he is.

If I could complain about my neighbor about his overgrown grass I would,  because I like no confusion and to be understood.   I would complain that the noise made by his kin,   would just be the start of my angry sin.

If a cricket were in my shed,  hiding, I would be certain and find something to drive him out.   He would beat his legs together somewhere else I say.

If could talk to the mayor I would get rid of all the cracks.    Because who want their mothers to break their backs?    And those guys with gun racks how dare they be that way,  because Bambi just wanted to come out and play.

Oh I’d complain that’s for sure because no one else’s opinions would matter.   If I cut you off in rush hour traffic,   I would rail at you for going shopping.   Why can’t you just play shuffleboard or something.

I would criticize the politician and those nasty little bureaucrats.   If you disagreed with me I’d fill out a petition,   I don’t want to hear about your sedition.  And for your comediennes,   I would steal all the punch lines then jeer at your misfortune and hold laughter hostage.

I would also send all the Martians back to Pluto,  because I hate the color green and I am Irish one day each year.    I would also put rings around it and AND shoot Jupiter the bird.    Why does J get all the rings?

I would also make January the middle month and ground hogs day on July 4th.   I would capitalize only in Washington DC and rename Washington State the state of No Hope.

But other than this and ten thousand things more,  I am far too busy to care about friends anymore.   I would also objectify myself and then file a complaint and then throw it out for one mizzspelled wurd.

Other than that,  my life is bliss.




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