I used to feel something. Something like desperation.
We were like fugitives from another life,
riding the waves of orgasm and then
with little outlaws and outstretched fingers.
The first blessing of two, faded like a stranger,
although I felt his spirit as he left, saying “Dad do not worry.”
I just had to say, “Goodbye”, because I really did love you both.
Then I told my lover, “Little David is gone”.
I sat and watched as mother and child spoke silently,
as only a mother can, now—
Another empty rocking chair creaked for the last time.
and the rocking chair sang a lullaby, “Hush little baby, don’t say a word”. “
Surely as one ship sails from view, another will come. And it did.
The news came about as a lighthouse parted the fog
but the jagged rocks once again appeared,
like little daggers that lined the halls,
just getting their was perilous. But the fury of the sea calmed,
and another blessing appeared upon the stoop.
But as one tragedy had faded, another conspired,
by this time mother and I were tired. Little did I know or suspect,
that the next day it was like a hole swallowed them both up,
mother and child. The twists and turns of this hallway with many doors,
had very many vistas, but some doors were locked.
Then one day some 15 years later, an angel reappeared, my daughter.
A friend of my X said Rachel wanted her dad. A tear and excitement
rocked me like a spewing volcano.
The mother of my child was now no longer a harbor,
but a battered port and Rachel, my daughter, paid for it.
The end of this story is a reunion that seemed like continuity.
Like heartbeats over some rainbow, the colors appeared brighter,
than even before. To hear my sweet day say, “This was the best birthday of her life”. I do
not know how to even express the waterfall of love that engulfed me.