My Life as a Sitcom

Yesterday I went to Walmart and was looking for a place to park when I realized that the parking lot is where rednecks go to discuss NASCAR.   And I could totally see why they needed to block both lanes of traffic,  totally oblivious to oncoming traffic or pedestrians.

I could imagine their employee handbook as clearly stating that customers should be patient because employee discussions are an  integral part of the Walmart Experience.    A happy employee is what makes shopping at Walmart, a real joy!

As they finally decided to actually do their job,  I made a comment to an elderly black lady that it is good to know that customer service is priority one.  She just laughed and I noticed she was trying to lift a heavy product into her car.   I asked if I could help and did.   The good thing however is that regardless of the behavior of the Wally Worlders I can find a way to make someone laugh and to help a person.    Handbook?

On another occasion I was walking down the aisle when two very large masses very converging upon one another.    As these two rotund objects neared each other,  I heard the Walmart Alert System sirens going off.   Thankfully those two fitness nuts were going to check on one of last year’s layaways.  

And what happens to all those little blue baskets?  You know those things we put our merchandise in?    It seems like each store is allocated just two and when you ask where they are,  our Wally World Customer Service experts takes a casual look under her register and says the customers probably have them.    Either that or employees are using them.  Hahaha.  You know the two Meteorites are too busy and that chick with 10 inch fingernails and the weave could care less.

Recently I was trying to find a certain product and not only did Customer Service did not help me but I felt guilty for asking.   I apologized and asked their forgiveness.  I am a quick thinker because I realized they were giving out steak knives that day and well,  another customer said it was not a good idea in that neighborhood.

I think I am going to write a Blue’s Album.

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